Now that you are married, my greatest wish for you is that you will be peaceful and happy in your married life. May you and Khairi be loving enough, wise enough, strong enough and patient enough with yourself and with each other in continuing your journey together as husband and wife. Your Wan Nyah is not married and probably do not know much about married life. However I have observed my few close friends' marriages long enough to notice that there are always challenges that need to be addressed. That is life. Being single too has its own set of challenges.
Do not be afraid about facing difficulties, should you have them. As long as you are determined to move forward there will be ways and means of overcoming them. You are a strong, smart, well educated lady. I am sure you will be resourceful and creative in facing them. You come from a strong, close-knit family. That is one plus point for you. I am very glad that your dad is doing well in his career and is able to give you and your siblings a much more stable family life financially. That is another plus point.
I am so glad too that many of my nephews and nieces have turned out great. No, not because you have a great job or because you were brilliant in your studies. I am proud of those too, of course. Academic excellence will definitely help you find your footings in life later on. You and some of your cousins have done very well in your studies, much better than me or my siblings. But what is more important to me is what you all do with your lives, how you handle your adversities, your tenacity to carry on and to persevere, your attitude, your outlook on life, you aspirations and your efforts and determination to better yourselves.
Among my nephews and nieces, probably your Uncle Atan, you, your Along and your cousin Usop are closest to me. The others, I do not have the opportunity to know better. Probably to some of my 23 nephews and nieces, I am a weird auntie. I was not brought up by your Tok and your Atah. I seldom saw all of you before and when I did come and visit I was reserved and even aloof. My years with my adopted mother has left me with a lot baggages. Numerous issues used to depress me and there were times I felt like I was a shell, a hollow being with no insides whatsoever, staggering around trying to decipher who I was, while feeling very isolated from my biological family.
Things are much better for me nowadays. Though in reality I am still struggling to regain my self esteem, I do accept myself better and I am able to savour some feelings of warmth and affection in my association with my nephews and nieces, especially the four of you mentioned above. Something that I find difficult to do with my siblings, which are your dad and your uncles. Inside of me, there is always this doubt, fear and embarrassment that may be my siblings don't like me because of my adopted mother quarrelsome personality. I even think that they might even despise me. That was part of my baggage.
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| The gang at the bridegroom's reception in Pokok Sena, Kedah on Dec 11, 2016 |
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| The couple with the bride's parents. Pokok Sena, Dec 11, 2016. |
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| From left: Yong, who is Kin's aunt on her mum side, Wan Nyah, Khairi, Kin, Kin's mum and Kin's dad. The little girl is Kin's niece Zara Azalea. Pokok Sena Dec 11, 2016 |
Take good care of yourself and accept yourself completely and unconditionally. The introvert personality tend to rear its unique head here and there in our family. To me being an introvert has some very attractive traits even if we can easily be misunderstood by others. Realise that you have weaknesses but then you have strengths too. You in particular have quite a lot of strengths, I have noticed, one of which is that you are very independent. Something that can be very crucial when you are facing life stresses. Always be curious about the world around you. Take time to ponder about things. We live in a country in which the politicians and the clergies are increasingly demanding that the ordinary people just swallow whatever that are being pushed into our mouths without thinking. Read widely and expand your horizon. A person who reads a lot will not be easily swayed by others. Remember that, it is okay to be different.
So Selamat Pengantin Baru, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and all the very best to you and Khairi. Love you.
Affectionately,
Wan Nyah
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