When Someone Passes Away

A neighbour passed away last Saturday. As I reached home from attending my French class, I saw many people in the house. I thought perhaps they were having some gatherings, as they often did. The next day one of the sons informed me that their dad had passed away on Friday. As our houses here are very small, all the funeral arrangement were done at the nearby mosque. All the kenduri and tahlil too were done there.

My late neighbour was just slightly older than me. His wife had passed away a few months before, after being ill for quite some time. I was quite badly affected when the wife passed away. She was a person, who, most of the time could be heard from far away when she spoke. That was her personality. When she fell sick, she became weak and she spoke very softly. No more the active and energetic lady that she was before. Every time I talked to her children about her illness, shadows passed across their faces and there were sadness and anxiety in their voices as they described her deteriorating condition. That was about a year before she passed away.

In early January this year I was shocked to hear the passing of Alan Rickman. It seems he only just recently knew about his cancer. He looked healthy and strong and he looked much younger than his 69 years. I just totally adore him in the Harry Porter series, Robin Hood The Prince of Thieves, Rasputin, Sense and Sensibility, Love Actually and most recently as Louis XIV in A Little Chaos. He was such a talented and consummate actor who will not be easily replaced. I feel like he should have more time, to do his thing, to hone his already superb skill. That forceful, intense, stellar performance with that particular voice of his. What a combination!

Nowadays, every morning I wake up, I am just thankful that I am still here. Life is vulnerable, fleeting and fragile. We just never know when we will be taken away. Someone healthy and strong suddenly is strickened with a serious illness and was gone in a matter of weeks. Some others suffer for months before they were taken. When I read memoirs about people becoming very very sick, losing their minds, unable to recognise their loved ones towards the end of their lives I feel very sad and very scared. But what we can do about it? There is no way to find out, when we are going to die or how we are going to die. Even if we know that, there is nothing we can do to alter that. So much so, perhaps it is better that we do not know. Perhaps the best thing we can do is to appreciate life by living as fully as possible while we still can. Enjoy whatever we love doing, savour the beauty of relationships that we care about, take life a little easier and adopt personalities, attitudes and behaviours that promote peace and happiness.

I very much hope that I will always be wise with all my relationships. Not to be petty about things that are not important. Not to take people for granted. I am trying hard to be more forgiving, which is not easy for me. I hope in my own subtle ways I am able to convey to my loved ones that they are important to me and I love them because I am actually terrible at displaying my emotions.