Mum in Memorium

Tomorrow will be the first day of fasting for Muslims in Malaysia for the Islamic calendar 1436. This is the tenth year that you left us, mum. I miss you terribly, especially so every Ramadhan.

You have been through a lot in your life, mum. You were married when you were sixteen and you had me, you second child, when you were nineteen. In my opinion, the greatest challenge you had to endure was losing me when I was eight-months old. Your sister-in-law, my adopted mother, took me away from you. Had it happened today, it would have been a big police case. Of course, back then you were just a naive young house wife and mother, powerless against the fierce and brazen sister-in-law. Even dad was scared of his elder sister and did not dare to challenge her. To this day, it is beyond my comprehension, how dad let his sister bullied him.

My late mum. According to dad this picture was
taken a few months after they were married.

I grew up not having much opportunity to get close to you, dad and my five brothers. Adopted mum was very insecure and was always jealous and suspicious that I might run back to you all, even though I had no such intention. I know there must have been times I have hurt your feelings because of I often appeared distant and unreachable to you and dad. There were times I felt like you both had forgotten about me and you went on to have other children, and I was left to grow up with the jealous, insecure witch. Forgive me mum, for all these misunderstandings. Most of the time, we were both clueless as how to get close to one another. We are both introverts. However, I was glad that towards the end of your life life our relationship was much better.

I am retired, mum, and still living in Port Klang. Dad asked me to go back and stay in KK. Not for the time being. May be later on, I do feel like living near my siblings and my nephews and nieces. I think it makes you very happy to know that I am bonding well with some of my nephews and nieces. I am in a much better frame of mind nowadays and I take better care of myself. I am much more peaceful and to the best that I can, I live life one day at a time. 

Rest in peace always, mum, I love you. May your soul always be blessed and be placed in the best place in the akhirat.