Being Comfortable In Your Own Skin

Tomorrow September 28th, 2014 will be exactly a year that I am retired.

Looking back, a year ago, I have a lot of trepidation, apprehension, dread, fear, nervousness, you name it, a few months before the retirement. How will I live my retirement? What will I do with all the time? Will I be terribly missing my gang at work? Will I suffer from depression as told by some motivational speakers do happen to retirees? How will I manage my life with less money? How will I deal with my arthritis which was definitely getting worse? Will my self-esteem dive low because of the "perceived" loss of significance of being not working?

The first two months of retirement was a little strange. Suddenly I was always home. However I do not have to wake up early anymore. I am not a morning person and not having to wake up at 5.30 in the morning is indeed a bliss. I missed my friends at work those first few months. If we did not have urgent tasks ahead, me and my gang would breakfast together and lunch together everyday. We even had a favourite table at the cafeteria which we dubbed "the Cullen's table" just like the one favoured by the Cullens in the movie Twilight. People with very strong introvert tendency like me, tend to have few friends. They take time to bond with friends but once they trust you the friendship will last a very long time. I trusted my close friends. To me they are part of my family. We might not agree on anything or everything but I do very much care about them and I do believe they care about me too.
I did not miss my job that much however. Even though I love being part of the LA team, I did feel like I was not contributing much anymore. I felt I have reached the plateau and it was appropriate time for me to leave.

The third month of my retirement, I was focused on my TKR surgery. I know I had to deal with the progressing arthritis if I want a better quality life in my retirement. I was operated two days after Christmas in 2013. It was followed by months of physiotherapy which was not a very pleasant experience at the beginning. I still attend physiotherapy though not so intensive anymore, only once a week. There is no more pain in the right knee, I do not have to use the walking stick anymore and my walking is much better even though I still limp a bit and I walk rather slow. I can also manage staircases although very slowly.

Two weeks after the surgery I adopted Tam. It was a cautious decision. I was apprehensive about Mickey not being able to accept the newcomer. I took pains to introduce them slowly while giving a lot of attention to Mickey so as to ensure that he does not feel neglected because of Tam. That was almost nine months ago. Tam is now Mickey's annoying, boisterous, mischievous little adopted sister. Both my cats give me lots and lots of pleasure and unconditional love and I adore them both to bits and pieces. They own me. Wan Nyah is their human rather than they are Wan Nyah's cats.

Wherever they go, retirees are almost always asked what are they doing now? I used to get a little annoyed with the question at the beginning of my retirement. Not anymore. People are different and everyone has the right to choose whatever they feel comfortable doing. It may be doing nothing ha ha ha. What is the point of doing business if your heart is never in it, or may be doing some PPL jobs when you feel that you had had enough of the vocational training environment already? Of course then, that means I am not going to have lots of money. What is the point of money, if your heart is not in what you are doing.

I am comfortable being on my own and doing things by myself. I love being with my close friends or my nephews and nieces of course, but I do not feel lonely being alone. That is another trait of people with strong introversion personality. I am okay with my life even if some people, even some of my siblings, just could not fathom how I manage the "loneliness" and the lack of "social activities" in my life. Truth of the matter is, I am not a sociable person, just never was. I find receptions, parties, kenduris and other social functions very tedious. My adopted mum used to belittle me tons because of my dislike to go to kenduris in our kampung. I was mentally and verbally abused by her because I am an introvert. Those were the days!

Thank you my Lord for all your blessings. I will never stop learning about myself and I will never stop learning about you, about the universe, about the cosmos, about creation, about everything. To all my close friends and my nephews and nieces, thank you for support, thank you for being you!

(I thought the following article is a very good read about being comfortable in your own skin)


The Simplest Ways To Look Good Without Changing Your Appearance

COMMUNICATION MOTIVATION BY JULIAN HAYES II

Looking healthy and being in great shape is important. As a fitness professional myself, I can’t stress enough the benefits of exercising and how it benefits all facets of our life.
But, your appearance isn’t the only metric that matters in this world. Looks don’t last forever, they fade over time.
Having a superficial mindset limits you on the great people you can meet in this world. A healthy look is important, but displaying great character and personality is most important.
Great character and personality isn’t defined by how much you deadlift, how much you weigh, or how much money you have. You can look good while adding value to your character and personality by improving on these areas below:

1. Be Your Own Person

Do you sacrifice your identity to fit in with the mainstream? Do you get uncomfortable going against the majority? Are you a sheep who blends in with the flock? Or, are you a wolf, who stands out from the pack?
Being yourself is about having your own ideas, opinions, and thoughts. Don’t be afraid to follow your dreams and hobbies, regardless of what everyone else thinks.
No need to put a mask on and be someone else.

2. Be 100 Percent Independent

We rely on others for support and decision making too often. Putting your happiness, along with other facets of life, in the hands of others in hopes of discovering fulfilment is a terrible idea.
It’s up to you and only you to discover fulfilment and happiness. Take responsibility for your life and make decisions without relying on someone else.
Free yourself from hanging in the birdcage.

3. Be Positive

No one wants to hang out with a negative Nancy. Being negative brings no value to your life.
Stressful events will occur, but you can control how you respond to those stressful situations. Will you be negative (the easy way out) or will you find the silver lining?
Positive people attract other positive people. You are the company that you keep.

4. Be Confident

“You’re awesome”. I wake up every morning, telling myself this in the mirror as I prepare to tackle the world.
Not to be narcissistic, but to remind myself that I’m good enough and deserve good things. It’s easy to fall into the trap of seeing what everyone else is doing, then feeling inadequate afterwards.
Whether it’s fitness and being lean enough; climbing the corporate ladder; working on your new business or going after that girl, who you fear is out of your league.
Take a step back from this noisy world, and choose yourself. Remember, you’re good enough already. Keep your chin up, shoulder back, and walk like the superstar you are.
Follow your own path, it’s more than good enough

5. Be Comfortable Without The Spotlight

It’s not always going to be about you. The sooner you realise this, the better your life is going to get.
People who are comfortable with themselves don’t need constant attention in order to feel wanted. You become much more beautiful to the world when you quit seeking validation from the world.
Your approval is the only jury.

6. Be Kind

At times, we’re stressed, frustrated, confused, annoyed, and mad at various things in life. We take our frustrations out on the world. Admit it, you’ve taken to social media to share a nasty opinion on something that made you mad.
You’ve treated a stranger like dog poo because you were having a bad day and got stuck in traffic.
Who wants to hang out with people who are ugly, selfish, and treats others less than human? Practise compassion and sympathy, instead of reacting negatively to situations or talking about someone.

7. Be Passionate About Something (Anything!)

It’s sad to meet people who are going through the motions of life without anything that is getting them excited.
Passion is an attribute that everyone finds sexy and magnetic. Passionate people have energy and enthusiasm that rubs off on anyone they run into. Everyone wants to be around passionate people.
It doesn’t matter what you’re passionate about, it matters that you’re doing something about it.

8. Be Bold And Adventurous

Don’t be that person whose full of regret. If only they did ‘this & that’, then life would be this way. There’s people who dream and take action. However, there’s people who dream and keep dreaming, failing to take action. We call those people pretenders.
The most attractive people in this world are those who understand life is about exploration and self-discovery. Staying within our comfort zones is not an option.
People who continue to improve themselves and take chances are more attractive than those who sit back and wish for everything.

9. Be Decisive And Act With Intention

Knowing what you want out of life and taking action towards it are qualities that will increase anyone’s attractiveness. Being hesitant, timid, and afraid to take action are qualities of people who are insecure.
Decide what you want and go after it with relentlessness. Acting with intention shows you have purpose and confidence, which anyone of quality will find irresistible.

10. Practise Gratitude

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
It’s easy to forget the simple things in life and take for granted things such as: breathing, health, friends, music, knowledge, freedom, food, and many others.
We become pre-occupied with our daily struggles and focus on what we don’t have, that we forget to give thanks to what we already have.
People who are grateful for what they have are happier and more attractive, since it’s not always about adding superficial items and keeping up with the Jones’s.