My Nephews and Nieces

I have many nephews and nieces. The eldest of my nephews and nieces is Azmi. I called him Atan because that is the nickname given to him when he was like six-months old. The nickname however stuck until now. He will be 45 this coming November and living in Precint 9, Putrajaya with his wife Normah. When he was growing up, Atan lived with me and therefore, perhaps, closest to me among my nephew and nieces.

Now let's look at my other nephews and nieces. My eldest brother, Aziz the cassanova, has six children. There are Zatul Iffah, Zatul Ima, Ahmad Yusof, Siti Ainin Sofia, Syuhadah and Iqbal. These are followed by the children of my other five brothers. I have no sister and therefore I am the only aunt for all my nephews and nieces on their father's side.

Let me see if I can remember all the names of my nephews and nieces. From my brother Aziman there are Ahmad Danial, Ahmad Dasila and Diana. Then there are Ahmad Nur Azrul, Ahmad Nur Izwan and Nur Asyikin from my brother Azmi. My late brother Azlan had two boys, Ahmad Nur Hakim and Ahmad Nur Hazim. When Hakim was about two and Hazim was eight-months old, my bother Azlan and his wife Yati were killed in a road accident somewhere near Changkat Jering back in 1994. Both boys were then adopted by my brother Azmi. Hakim and Hazim are presently young gentlemen of 28 and 25 respectively.

My brother Azhar has two boys and two girls. There are Ahmad Firdaus, Ahmad Zulkarnain, Athirah and I forgot the name of the youngest girl. What a terrible auntie ha ha ha. My youngest brother Azmir also has four children which are Ahmad Afik Lokman, Ahmad Arif Iskandar, Ahmad Nur Imran and the youngest is called Manja. Altogether I have 23 nephews and nieces.

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Image 1: This photo was Whatsapped to me by my niece Syikin two days ago. She was around 5 at that time (front row cream-coloured baju kurung) and it was, if I am not mistaken, Hari Raya of 1994. It was a very sombre and subdued Hari Raya for all of us because my brother Azlan and my sister-in-law Yati passed away in a road accident three weeks previously, on the third day of Ramadhan of that year. Their boys Hakim and Hazim can be seen in this photo. Hakim in blue baju Melayu while Hazim is the baby in the photo being held by his cousin Ahmad Yusof. Can be seen one of Hazim's legs is still in plaster cast as a result of the accident.

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Image 2: This is my nephew Atan and his wife Normah at KLIA. Sending me off to Bali for a short holiday around April 2014 

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Image 3: This photo was about 5 years ago in the Lada Hijau restaurant in Damansara. From left to right: Iskandar, Manja, Imran, Along, Lokman and Hazim. I think it was the birthdays of Along, Hazim and Lokman celebrated together.

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Image 4: In this photo standing in the back row from left to right is me, my late sisters-in-law Yati and Kak Non and at the right is my brother Aziz. Sitting next to my dad is my niece Ima and sitting next to my late mum is my niece Iffah. The two boys sitting on the floor are my nephews Azrul and Yusof. 

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Image 5: My late mum and my dad. This photo was taken most probably in either 1992 or 1993 when my brother Azlan was still around. There was some contentment on mum's face in this photo. The unexpected and sudden passing of my brother and my sister-in-law later on, took a huge toll on mum and I believe a part of her was never the same after that.

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Image 6: This was a photo studio of me and my nephew Atan. I think I had already started working but I still did not have a camera at this time. A camera was a luxury item then. Me and Atan, we went through a lot of conflicts, struggles and crisis together. Ranging from the instability and unhappiness of my adopted parents' marriage, their constant bickerings, my adopted father's never-ending financial problems, my adopted mother's acute insecurity issues with me and my biological parents, her inability to relate properly to her own siblings, her psychosis to her obsession of getting me married at whatever cost. I felt very alone and my self-esteem took a massive dive. It is during this period that I began to learn the hard truth, that the only person I can count on in this life is myself and myself alone.
Looking back, on the positive side however, whatever little strength I have as a person right now, probably resulted from having to deal with all those hurdles and predicaments. The saying goes, whatever doesn't kill you, is going to make you stronger. I don't agree with that. I think I made a very conscious decision to fight the adversity and to survive. It was never passive participation.

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Image 7: This is a precious photo of the four boys. From left Danial, Along, Wan and Dasila. Danial, Wan and Dasila are married. Wan has one child and Dasila has two. Presently, from my 23 nephews and nieces, I have 12 grandchildren. I am an Atah. In my family Atah is an endearment term for grandmother. So I am a Wan Nyah as well as an Atah Nyah.