Letter To My Niece

Dearest Kin,
Now that you are married,  my greatest wish for you  is that you will be peaceful and happy in your married life. May you and Khairi be loving enough, wise enough, strong enough and patient enough with yourself and with each other in continuing your journey together as husband and wife. Your Wan Nyah is not married and probably do not know much about married life. However I have observed my few close friends' marriages long enough to notice that there are always challenges that need to be addressed. That is life. Being single too has its own set of challenges.

Do not be afraid about facing difficulties, should you have them. As long as you are determined to move forward there will be ways and means of overcoming them. You are a strong, smart, well educated lady. I am sure you will be resourceful and creative in facing them. You come from a strong, close-knit family. That is one plus point for you. I am very glad that your dad is doing well in his career and is able to give you and your siblings a much more stable family life financially. That is another plus point.

I am so glad too that many of my nephews and nieces have turned out great.  No, not because you have a great job or because you were brilliant in your studies. I am proud of those too, of course. Academic excellence will definitely help you find your footings in life later on. You and some of your cousins have done very well in your studies, much better than me or my siblings. But what is more important to me is what you all do with your lives,  how you handle your adversities, your tenacity to carry on and to persevere, your attitude, your outlook on life, you aspirations and your efforts and determination  to better yourselves.

Among my nephews and nieces, probably your Uncle Atan, you, your Along and your cousin Usop are closest to me. The others, I do not have the opportunity to know better. Probably to some of my 23 nephews and nieces, I am a weird auntie. I was not brought up by your Tok and your Atah. I seldom saw all of you before and when I did come and visit I was reserved and even aloof. My years with my adopted mother has left me with a lot baggages. Numerous issues used to depress me and there were times I felt like I was a shell, a hollow being with no insides whatsoever,  staggering around trying to decipher who I was, while feeling very isolated from my biological family.

Things are much better for me nowadays. Though in reality I am still struggling to regain my self esteem, I do accept myself better and I am able to savour some feelings of warmth and affection in my association with my nephews and nieces, especially the four of you mentioned above. Something that I find difficult to do with my siblings, which are your dad and your uncles. Inside of me, there is always this doubt, fear and embarrassment that may be my siblings don't like me because of my adopted mother quarrelsome personality. I even think that they might even despise me. That was part of my baggage.

The gang at the bridegroom's reception
in Pokok Sena, Kedah on
Dec 11, 2016

The couple with the bride's parents.
Pokok Sena,  Dec 11, 2016. 

From left: Yong, who is Kin's aunt on her mum
side,  Wan Nyah,  Khairi, Kin, Kin's mum and
Kin's dad. The little girl is Kin's niece Zara Azalea.
Pokok Sena Dec 11, 2016

Take good care of yourself and accept yourself completely and unconditionally. The introvert personality tend to rear its unique head here and there in our family. To me being an introvert has some very attractive traits even if we can easily be misunderstood by others. Realise that you have weaknesses but then you have strengths too. You in particular have quite a lot of strengths, I have noticed, one of which is that you are very independent. Something that can be very crucial when you are facing life stresses. Always be curious about the world around you. Take time to ponder about things. We live in a country in which the politicians and the clergies are increasingly demanding that the ordinary people just swallow whatever that are being pushed into our mouths without thinking. Read widely and expand your horizon. A person who reads a lot will not be easily swayed by others. Remember that, it is okay to be different.

So Selamat Pengantin Baru, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and all the very best to you and Khairi. Love you.

Affectionately,

Wan Nyah

Riding The New Train Route

The much anticipated Sg. Buloh-Kajang MRT (also referred to as MRT1) started its Phase 1 operation yesterday, Dec. 16th. It consisted of 12 stations starting at Sg. Buloh and ending in Semantan. The stations are Sungai Buloh, Kampong Selamat, Kwasa Damansara, Kwasa Sentral, Kota Damansara, Surian, Mutiara Damansara, Bandar Utama, TTDI, Phileo Damansara, Pusat Bandar Damansara and Semantan. Let's hope this new transportation network can help alleviate the severe traffic congestion in the city and ordinary people can have another option to travel around Klang Valley, besides driving on their own. May be they can park their vehicles somewhere and ride the train partially on their way, to and from work. For five years I drove to work and I very much understand the stress and hassle of driving on some of Klang Valley roads. I think we have good roads but we have too many cars because the poor transportation system forces people to drive their cars. After the five years, I drove from home to the commuter train station, parked my car there and took the train to Shah Alam. I was lucky that my work place was in front of the Shah Alam commuter station, thanks to CIAST's early planners wise choice of location. The commuter train service was terrible during the period 3 or 4 years before I retired but is improving now.

Most of  the online maps are of poor resolutions,
so I snapped the image of the physical map
distributed by RapidKL staffs.

I had wanted to go to One Utama shopping centre and I thought I should try the new train. Parked my car at Port Klang Commuter Station and took the the commuter train to Subang Jaya. The interchange station between KTM Commuter Pelabuhan Kelang Line with the new MRT is only Sg. Buloh for the time being. That is too far away. For information, an interchange station is one where passengers do not need to exit the station building, in order to switch lines.  As commonly is the case, we need to to change for one line to another to effectively use the system. At Subang Jaya I changed to LRT Kelana Jaya Line heading towards Gombak and I got down 3 stations away at Lembah Subang station. From there, there is a feeder bus that will get you to Surian station on the Sg. Buloh-Kajang MRT. For one month, from Dec. 16th, the MRT and the feeder bus rides are free.

Spanking new, clean, bright
SURIAN station

Inside the new 4-coach train

From Surian I rode the train to Bandar Utama, two stations away.  There are feeder buses here too, to take you to One Utama. It is within walking distance actually. However, the road is busy with all manner of construction and it was a hot day so I took the feeder bus.

Festive air in One Utama, and
bright-coloured deco. A bit
too garish for me. 

Modest deco here

Since the ride is free, I took the MRT from Bandar Utama to Sg. Buloh on the way back. Scenic journey with urban landscape of PJ to industrial estate and rubber plantation near Sg. Buloh station.

Immediately after Bandar Utama station

Financial, commercial district of  PJ/Damansara

City dwellings around Damanasara

Another view from inside the MRT

Another view from inside the MRT

Rubber plantation near Sg. Buloh station

Wan Nyah inside the MRT going towards Sg. Buloh

From my experience, the LRTs are quite good in being punctual and having good frequency of service. Let's hope the MRT is also equally punctual and having good frequency as it is from the same company. KTM Commuter on the other hand still has lots and lots of room for improvement.
One thing I forgot to do while taking the ride is to note the ticket price. I still think it is still not quite convenient for me to go to One Utama taking the trains because I still need to take the feeder bus between Lembah Subang and Surian. Buses are notorious for being stuck in traffic jams. The route taken by the feeder bus goes around the busy parts of PJ and Damansara. It would be difficult to maintain punctuality when you are at the mercy of the road traffics. Once the interchange station Pasar Seni is completed then it would be a much better option for me.

The last image below is not of the MRT,  but of the KTM commuter train, which I took from Sg. Buloh to Pelabuhan Kelang yesterday evening.

View from the cracked window 
glass of the KTM train. It is quite 
common to find such windows 
on KTM commuter trains.

Getting A Cat Into The Carrier

On Saturday I will be travelling back to KK for my niece Syikin send-off to the bridegroom's side in Kedah. Since Monday and Tuesday will be public holidays for Selangor, I have already booked places for boarding for my furry kids at my regular vet.

Sending them for boarding is always a sentimental issue for me. A lot of the time, I would be crying, even if I would leave them there for only four or five days and this event is repeated many times in a year. I am just a weeper or a crybaby where my pets are concerned. In fact where animal welfare is concerned actually. I would have preferred to leave them at home and for someone to come and top-up the kibbles and change the water bowl. But people that I can rely on, stay far away from my place and I do not want to burden them with travelling so far to do that. If my neighbours are pet-friendly people then I would have just leave them at home with plenty of kibbles and plain water provided. They would have stale kibbles after a few days, but they will not be stressed out having to be caged at the boarding place. However some neighbours dislike cats and have already voiced out their displeasure at my Mickey sometimes jumping onto the top of their car or spraying onto the car tyres. I have already apologised to them about that. I tried to put myself in the shoe of a person who doesn't like cats and I have to agree may be I would get irritated too in such instances. Since then I feel uneasy about leaving my cats at home when I am not there, unless otherwise, I really can't help it.

Cats are smart animals. They study you and your routines with them. They sense your vibrations acutely. Calling to them too often before catching them would make them suspicious as you don't normally do that. Closing doors and all outlets suddenly too would easily make them bolted to the end of the block. Offering food too many times in a short period of time and they just walk off. Once I tried to catch Tam and somehow she slipped from my grip and sprinted away. Mickey and Comot got the hint and they both ran away too. For about 2-3 hours after that all three of them stayed away from the house. Watching from a distance, alert and ready to bolt in case Wan Nyah tries again. So today, Wan Nyah must act very normal. Not to pay any special attention, not to call them too often, not to offer treats at unusual time and not to overdo the cuddling.

Carriers for the two girls are out

The big boy watching Wan Nyah
taking out the carriers with suspicion

She is watching too

In 2016

2016 will be leaving us very soon. Many things happen in 2016. On a personal level, 2016 is the year I lost my dad. It was a little unexpected for me and my siblings. We were greatly expecting he would pull through the pneumonia attack. But dad lost the battle after about a week in hospital. Before that, in the middle of 2016, my nephew Along fell sick with some ailment. He lost so much weight that we were really worried about him. Luckily he is very much better now. He beat the infection quite fast and we were very very thankful about that. On another happy note, my niece Syikin got married this year. My niece Diana has a son and her brother Dasila has a second child a few months ago. All together I have 13 grandchildren. I am an Atah Nyah thirteen times over now.

My nephew Along. The canine is Lela,
who was rescued from an old lady who 
couldn't afford to keep her. Lela is one of
the four guard dogs at the chicken farm. She is  
about a year old, very adorable and very 
much loved by the family.

Kin's wedding souvenir

As citizens of this beautiful piece of land jutting out into the Malacca Straits and the South China Sea, we witness a lot of things happening in 2016. From things which are good and amazing, to things which are unbelievable, absurd, bizarre, and downright to things which are disgraceful, humiliating and causing extreme embarrassment.

A lot of people are losing their jobs in 2016. A few are people close to me as well. One nephew is unemployed since 2014 and is doing odd jobs here and there to support himself and his wife. I lost quite a number of classmates in my French class. A few were expatriates who lost their jobs in the oil and gas sector and have to return to their home countries. Other classmates simply stopped because of the financial constraint, The course fee is not really that much. However, when all things considered, people just couldn't afford some things, when their regular income is halved because another family member is unemployed or because the only breadwinner in the family is being retrenched.

The ringgit slid past 4.0 to the US dollar on Wednesday, Aug 12, 2016 for the first time in 17 years. As of today, Dec 8, 2016, 1USD equals RM4.43. There were and are still huge concerns over economic growth and political uncertainty stemming from a government financial scandal. The country's economy has been dogged for months by concerns that slumping oil prices will harm growth as an oil-exporting nation. According to one economist "Malaysia's vulnerability is heightened by deteriorating terms of trade, high debt, and a fragile fiscal position highly dependent on oil-related revenue," I do not know much about economy but that quote is definitely worrying to me. The carefree feeling of yesteryears is gone I think. Previously, there was confidence that as long as you were prepared to work hard, there would always be jobs for you in Malaysia and you would be able to survive. Four or five years before I retired, I was quite confident I could find some part-time jobs easily. Nowadays, even if there are openings for me, I do not have the heart to take it, as I know there are more deserving candidates.

Call me a pessimistic  or a cynic, I am welcoming 2017 with a lot of dread and apprehension.

The Book: Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them

I saw the movie version of this book, I think the second day it opened in Malaysia, on Nov. 18th. It was awesome. I quite adore Eddie Redmayne even before he won the Academy Awards for Stephen Hawking. Haven't read the book, even though it was published in March, 2001. To be honest, I do not own even one book of the Harry Porter series, even if I love the movies. I think I will read this particular one. J.K.Rowling is a very intriguing personality to me and I would love to feel her thoughts through this book. After going through the many facts, I think I am going to love the book even more than the movie.

The following are tidbits about the book which I have taken from Wiki and other sites on the net, as to satisfy my curiosity about the book. The book and the movie version usually will provoke different feelings and emotions in the reader and/or spectator.

                                               
                                                      


About the Book

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them is a book written, hand-lettered and illustrated by J. K. Rowling for the Comic Relief Charity in 2001. Written under the pseudonym Newt Scamander, it is meant to be a copy of the in-universe book Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. The premise is that the book has been released to the Muggle world to help raise money for needy causes. It features a foreword by Albus Dumbledore who also wrote the back cover text.

The prefacing About the Author indicates the book is in its "fifty-second edition."

Throughout the book are hand-written comments by Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger and Harry Potter.

Several different editions have been published. It can also be bought in a bulk set with Quidditch Through The Ages and The Tales of Beedle the Bard.

Fantastic Beasts purports to be a reproduction of a textbook owned by Harry Potter and written by magizoologist Newt Scamander, a character in the fictional Harry Potter series. In the series, Magizoology is the study of magical creatures.

Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts, provides the Foreword and explains the purpose of the special edition of this book (the Comic Relief charity). At the end, he tells the reader, "...The amusing creatures described hereafter are fictional and cannot hurt you." He repeats the Hogwarts motto: "Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus", Latin for "Never tickle a sleeping dragon".

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them contains the history of Magizoology and describes 85 magical species found around the world. Scamander says that he collected most of the information found in the book through observations made over years of travel and across five continents. He notes that the first edition was commissioned in 1918 by Mr Augustus Worme of Obscurus Books. However, it was not published until 1927. It is now in its fifty-second edition.

In the Harry Potter universe, the book is a required textbook for first-year Hogwarts students, having been an approved textbook since its first publication. It is not clear why students need it in their first year, as students do not take Care of Magical Creatures until their third year. However, it may be used as an encyclopedia of Dark creatures studied in Defence Against the Dark Arts classes. In his foreword to the book, Albus Dumbledore notes that it serves as an excellent reference for Wizarding households in addition to its use at Hogwarts.

"Newt's masterpiece had been an approved textbook at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry ever since its publication and must take a substantial amount of credit for our students' consistently high results in Care of Magical Creatures examinations — yet it is not a book to be confined to the classroom. No wizarding household is complete without a copy of Fantastic Beasts, well thumbed by the generations who have riffled its pages in search of the best way to rid the lawn of Horklumps, interpret the mournful cries of the Augurey, or cure their pet Puffskein of drinking out of the toilet." — Albus Dumbledore

Published in 2001, the book contains some references that pertain to later books. For example, the book includes a listing for an Erumpent; an Erumpent horn, described in the book as being dangerous was later featured in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, where its danger is demonstrated. The book also contains the first mention of thestrals.  However, it does not have entries for Banshees, Bicorns, Blood-Sucking Bugbears, Cockatrices or Hinkypunks. While we can read in Albus Dumbledore's foreword that the book is use to find the best way to rid the lawn of Horklumps or cure pet Puffskeins of drinking out of the toilet, the companion book actually does not reveal how to fix these problems.

The book features doodles and comments added by Ron Weasley. The comments would appear to have been written around the time of the fourth book, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. These doodles add some extra information for fans of the series (for example the "Acromantula" entry has a comment confirming that Hogwarts is located in Scotland) along with comic relief (such as Ron saying "you're not kidding" when talking about the Hungarian Horntail being the most fearsome dragon of all, a reference to Harry's encounter with one in the fourth book).

Integrated in the design, the cover of the book appears to have been clawed by an unidentified animal.

                                         


Role in the Harry Potter series
Scamander himself does not appear in the seven Harry Potter books. He is mentioned in passing in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone as the author of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. He was the central character of the film adaptation of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

In the film version of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Newt Scamander's name appeared on the Marauder's Map. Why he was at Hogwarts was not addressed, although it may be that a Hogwarts student was named after him.

What is a Beast
A Beast is one of the three classifications used by the Ministry of Magic to catalogue the various magical creatures that inhabit the wizarding world. Loosely defined, a Beast is a magical creature that does not have sufficient intelligence to understand the laws of the magical community nor bear part of the responsibility in shaping those laws. The current definition was laid down by Minister for Magic Grogan Stump in 1811, and the Beast Division was formed as part of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. There are even extremists who campaign for Muggles to be classified as Beasts.

However, there are exceptions. Centaurs and Merpeople both requested to be classified as Beasts, refusing "Being" status because they objected to some of the other creatures they would have to share "Being" status with, such as Hags and Vampires.


Acromantulas, Manticores and the Sphinx would have all qualified for Being status since they were capable of intelligent speech, but since they try to eat any person that goes near them, are vicious and bloodthirsty, and become dangerous when the things they are guarding are threatened or when they are given the wrong answer to their puzzles or riddles, they were classified as Beasts. Additionally, werewolves are only classified as Beasts in their transformed state. When there is no full moon they retain their Being status like any other human.

About Newt Scamander

Newton Scamander was born in 1897, and developed an interest in magical creatures at an early age, as his mother was a breeder of hippogriffs. As a seven year old, Scamander would regularly dismember Horklumps in his bedroom.

Beginning around 1908, he attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where he was sorted into Hufflepuff. During his time, he enjoyed studying magical creatures. He developed a friendship with Leta Lestrange, a fellow student who both shared his interest in magical beasts as well as a feeling of being an outsider. One day, Leta's experiment went too far and endangered the life of a student. Rather than see his good friend expelled, Newt took the blame and was expelled from Hogwarts in her place. Albus Dumbledore, Newt's Transfiguration teacher at the time, argued strongly, but in vain, against his expulsion. Sometime after however, Newt may have been able to re-enter Hogwarts and eventually graduate.

Professional Life
Joining the Ministry of Magic
"...tedious to the extreme..." — Newt Scamander on his years at the Office for House-Elf Relocation
After leaving Hogwarts, Scamander joined the Ministry of Magic and worked for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. He spent two years in the Office for House-Elf Relocation before transferring to the Beast Division, where his extensive knowledge of magical creatures led to a rapid series of promotions.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
"I was then but a lowly Ministry of Magic employee and leapt at the chance both to augment my pitiful salary of two Sickles a week and to spend my holidays travelling the globe in search of new magical species." —Newt Scamander on Augustus Worme's offer for him to write Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
In 1918, Augustus Worme of Obscurus Books commissioned Scamander to write the first edition of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Scamander, earning only two Sickles a week working at the Ministry, jumped at the chance for extra money and the opportunity to spend his summers travelling the world.

Scamander travelled to a hundred countries across five continents researching his book, observing many magical creatures. He learned about their abilities, gained their trust, and occasionally beat them with his travelling kettle if they got too dangerous. At one point, he met an Obscurus, and although the host died, he managed to contain the dark force within his magically-expanded suitcase.

Newt began a year long trip to document magical creatures and their natural habitats in 1925. After leaving Equatorial Guinea, Scamander arrived in New York in December 1926 for what was supposed to be a brief stopover. However, when a Muggle by the name of Jacob Kowalski (a No-Maj) accidentally opened his suitcase, containing several creatures inside, the episode turned into an incident of major proportions (since magical and non-magical relations in the United States were already frail due to the presence of a Muggle fanatical extremist group, the New Salem Philanthropic Society), requiring the intervention of the Magical Congress of the United States of America.

While in New York, Scamander also met his future wife, Tina Goldstein, as well as her sister, Queenie. During the quest to recover his escaped creatures, Newt had to confront another Obscurus, but it was vanquished by MACUSA. He helped to defeat Percival Graves and revealed that he was none other than Dark Wizard and international criminal Gellert Grindelwald. Shortly after, Scamander said goodbye to Tina, but promised to deliver a copy of his book to her in person.

First published in 1927, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was a bestseller. It became an approved textbook at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and, by the mid-1990s, was in its fifty-second edition. At some point, Scamander authored A Children's Anthology of Monsters, for younger readers.

More Work at the Ministry
In 1947, Scamander was responsible for the inception of the Werewolf Register, and, in 1965, created the Ban on Experimental Breeding, which he considered his proudest moment. Scamander also worked extensively with the Dragon Research and Restraint Bureau, which led him on expeditions all over the world, allowing him to collect information for new editions of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

Awards and Honours
"Regarded as the world authority on magical creatures, Newt Scamander is the author of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, which has been an approved textbook at Hogwarts since its publication in 1927 and can be found in most wizarding households." —Scamander's Chocolate Frog Card
In 1979, he was awarded the Order of Merlin, Second Class, for services to Magizoology. He was also honoured with a Chocolate Frog Card named after him.

Private Life
Scamander married Tina Goldstein, and together they had at least one child who produced at least one grandson named Rolf.

By the beginning of the 1990s, he was retired and living in Dorset with his wife and their three pet Kneazles, Hoppy, Milly, and Mauler, but was known to study Fire Slugs in the Brazilian rainforest. At some point during the 1993-1994 school year, he visited Hogwarts, possibly to discuss the printing of a version of Fantastic Beasts for Muggle audiences. Following his grandson's marriage to Luna Lovegood, Scamander became the great-grandfather of twin boys, Lorcan and Lysander Scamander.

Personality and Traits
Scamander was a dedicated individual who tirelessly researched new information for his book Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, even when he was supposedly retired. Considered an authority in the field of Magizoology, his works were respected throughout the wizarding community. Newton was described as eccentric and felt more comfortable around creatures than he did around humans.

Magical Abilities and Skills
Magical Ability: Newt is able to conjure a wide variety of spells as well as successfully apparate
Care of Magical Creatures: Newt was interested in Magizoology from a young age and throughout the years, he gained knowledge of a wide variety of creatures from all over the world. He was awarded a famous Wizard Card and an Order of Merlin for services to Magizoology.
Communicating with Animals
Potions: In his books, he wrote down hints how parts of magical creatures could be used in potions. It's unknown if this knowledge was theoretical or if he could brew some of the potions himself.
History of Magic: Newt also had knowledge of magical history, especially Magizoology. A whole chapter of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was devoted to the definitions of beasts, beings and spirits and how the definitions have evolved in past centuries.
Muggle Studies: Newt had studied how Muggles reacted to magical creatures and how beasts included in muggle fairy tales, like fairies, differed from real ones. He also knew about Muggles' awareness of Diricawl and that they believed that they hunted it to extinction. A whole chapter in his book was about Muggle awareness of beasts.
Possessions
Wand newton
Wand: His wand is made of Lime with elements of Shell and Bone core. It also has a piece of Mother of Pearl in the base.
Suitcase: A magical suitcase enchanted with an Undetectable Extension Charm in which he held a number of beasts while he travelled. He could hide the contents from Muggles by flipping a switch on the case. In 1926, whilst visiting the United States of America, the beasts in Newt's suitcase escaped, whereupon he was accosted by Percival Graves, a powerful MACUSA Auror and right-hand man of the American wizarding community's leader, Seraphina Picquery. The suitcase contains its own world with many different habitats for each creature. It also contains a place for Newt. Tina takes the suitcase with Newt inside it to MACUSA headquarters where she tells them about the creatures that have escaped.
Passport: Newt possessed a muggle passport used during his worldwide travels.

Scamander's full name (Newton Artemis Fido Scamander) is drawn from a variety of sources:
Newton refers to the newt creature, which in turn is used as Scamander's nickname, the surname is possibly also taken from the well-known English mathematician Isaac Newton, whose scientific research was coloured by influences of the quasi-magical practise called alchemy;
Artemis is the name of the Greek goddess of the hunt; and
"Fido" is a common dog name, from the Latin for "faithful."
Scamander is a river god in Greek mythology, whose name was possibly chosen for its similarity to "salamander."

His nickname, "Newt," is, as stated above, also the name of a small, brightly-coloured salamander-like animal.

The Wandering and Meandering Mind Revisited

The following are the other e-mails from the thread The Wandering and Meandering Mind which I started writing and e-mailing to my close friends in 2010.

I named the thread such because the mind to me is such a powerful part of us. It goes on wandering at times, going into far away places as well as nearby locations. It slowly meanders, just like a river,  all along the valley of thought.

A river meanders along the flood
plain. The loops of the meanders might
form ox-bow lakes after some time. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
19th November, 2010

Hi gang,

Being a writer is not easy (ha ha ha perasan pulau I ni) . At least that is what I think because I am not yet a writer. Writer in the making may be eh? Friday morning humour!. I do like writing, that is, I think I can express myself on paper/screen much better than I do verbally. So yesterday I've decided to write you all everyday. Resume my unofficial personal column "The Wandering and Meandering mind" which I started quite some time ago. Orang sibuk dengan blog, I guna e-mail biasa je dah le. Something simple, fresh , original that I can share with you all. You know what? This morning I face a major stumbling block. I find I have nothing to write. Writer's block ke ni? May be I need a muse. A muse (which is a noun in this case, by the way) is someone that helps provide enthusiasm or determination for artists such as painters, poets, musicians to create something artistic. Let me see, there's quite a long list of guys that I would like to be my muse.............starting with Edward Cullen may be!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
22nd November, 2010

Hi gang,

It was drizzling just now as I walked from the commuter station to CIAST. The monsoon is here again. It looks like today is going to be that sort of dreary cloudy grey day and it might rain all day. It is a little depressing for me. I am that kind of person who is quite affected by weather. It was worse when I was having my depression in those old days It was also quite difficult during winter when I was abroad as winter's greyness abroad was much worse that our rainy days here.

Anyway I am not going to let this grey weather depresses me today or any other day for that matter. Life is too precious, too valuable to be spoiled by bad weather!

I'll begin the day by counting my blessings. Alamak, cliche isn't, this is always being said every now and then. Count your blessing. OK let's see!

-First and foremost I'm healthy. I might be overweight but at least generally I am healthy.
-I am independent, I lead my life the way I want it. It hadn't been smooth sailing but it is not sailing if it is always very calm and not windy.
-I had all of you for my friends. I might not be a perfect friend for you all, I have my faults, but I do believe at times I am irresistible (perasan da....he he he.).
-My life is OK, I am not rich and neither do I have lots of saving but it is OK for my own purposes.
-I have gone through quite a lot. There had been relationship problems in the past and some were quite painful. I have learnt a lot from those and indeed they had made me become cynical, distrusting, aloof, indifferent in some ways but in others they definitely made me a stronger tougher person. I thank the Lord for giving me the strength to go through my difficult time because somehow I survived through it all. At the time I was having all those problems I thought I would evaporate into thin air and die but here I am.
-The school of life is continuous and I definitely have a lot to learn still.

By the time I finished writing this, the sun is shining quite bright!

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8th December, 2010

Hi guys!

Working again after the four-day break. Saturday, Sunday, Monday I was on leave and Tuesday was the Awal Muharram public holiday. The break was indeed a bliss in the sense that I could replace some insufficient sleep and did some organising and reorganising and throwing away things in the house. I am a self-confessed hoarder! Hard for me to admit but then for any affliction to get cured/better, first and foremost the sufferer must acknowledge that there is a problem. Though not at the serious level like those shown on Biography Channel, I have to admit I like to accumulate things/possessions and I have difficulties throwing away things that I don't already use. Nothing like garbage or trash like depicted in the series"HOARDERS" but still there are too many stuffs around.

How did the hoarding start? What were the underlying factors that make me like to buy, keep, accumulate things? I'm not really sure. However I guessed there were things that happened especially during my formative years that contributed to that. Must be some deep-seated insecurities. Anyway the important thing is I realised that there is a problem and I'm finding ways to overcome it. Clearing up the clutter is one way but I must also really tackle the reasons for the hoarding otherwise the accumulating will start again. First and foremost, stop buying! Well I have actually reduce buying some stuffs, but not other stuffs (really, that is the defense mechanism of a hoarder!)

I'm a bit lonely today as all my beloved companions are away! Wrote this during lunch break while following the two-day ergonomics course.

Love you all!

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31st January, 2011

Hi gang,

As can be observed the weather is grey, dull and dreary today. Looks like continuation of yesterday's rain. I wear yellow today because I hope it will make me feel warm and cosy despite this sad pathetic weather. Well, on the positive side, at least we are not flooded down here in Klang Valley. The people in Labis already had it quite bad I think.

I was reading about the Egyptian riots in the papers today. Didn't know about it until this morning because I didn't watch news programme these few days. Our government was saying things like Malaysians in Egypt are okay and the students in Egypt will not be brought back and some tour agencies were saying that they had no plans to cancel all confirmed trips to Egypt. I believe Egypt depends quite a bit on her tourism sector and it is sad to read how protesters looted the famed Egyptian Museum, ripping up heads of mummies in the process. Mobs in a frenzy are indeed very emotional, irrational and dangerous.

I always believe it is bad to make judgement on anything unless you really know what it is all about. There must be reasons why Egyptians took to the streets and this time the riots erupted it seemed with little warning.. A lot has to do with the ruling government and with Hosni Mubarak. A lot has also been said about the repressive and neglecting nature of the government causing explosions of anger among civilians.

Hosni Mubarak's wealth is estimated to be at around US20 billion and he has been in power since 1981. To me, a mere, humble, sometimes financially struggling Malaysian civil servant, to be worth US20 billion is a mind-blowing, humongous and a little too surreal an experience. It really amazed me that with that kind of wealth the president still clings to power despite the obvious resentment and dissatisfaction of certain quarters towards him, despite the previous assassination attempts on him, despite him being 82. Perhaps that is the downside of power, it makes you greedier and you just never know when to stop.


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17th March, 2011

Hi guys,

I still have the sore throat though it is much better today. Its rather quiet in PPL. A lot of people are on leave because of the school holidays, as it is in the whole of CIAST. The weather is cloudy and dull and my thought keeps lingering on what is happening in Japan.

When I was about to go to Japan before, I still remember, my maternal grandmother, my Opah cautioning me " Jaga-jaga depa tu jahat!". That was way back in 1987 and my gentle, caring, loving Opah is no more here. She passed away about two years after that. Opah was a divorcee with four kids during World War II. She was divorced from my grandfather when he took a second wife. Opah had to fend for herself and the five kids by selling things from her home as well as peddling from house to house and kampung to kampung, mostly I was told in the vicinity of Teluk Intan. My late mum told me Opah sold anything she could lay her hands own, but mostly kain batik. Those were difficult times and she was indeed struggling. I didn't exactly know whether my grandfather was a responsible father in term of providing for the kids at that time. However mum did mentioned to me there were times, when she and my uncles and auntie were missing their father so much that they waited at the junction of the road to his house (with the new wife) just to see him because he did not come home to them for weeks. And he never came. Mum was crying when she was relating that story to me. That story stuck with me to this very day. I never knew my maternal grandfather as he passed away, if I am not wrong, a few months after I was born. Opah later worked in Teluk Intan and subsequently in Ipoh with the family of the Raja DiHilir at that time. She was nanny to the family. The fact that my Opah was a servant in the raja household was something degrading to a lot of the members of my father's side of the family particularly my adopted mother (who is actually my father's elder sister). To this day I do not understand why. Is it degrading to be a servant when you perform honest job to support your family. I salute you Opah, for your strength and determination and the single-mindedness in looking after your family and keeping them together.

When my adopted parents divorced in 1965, I and my adopted mother moved from Sabak Bernam to Slim River to live with my paternal grandparents for a while. My adopted father, for all his faults with my adopted mother, was a very loving gentle father to me. As a kid (I was 11 at that time) I always believed that my adopted father would come to see me as I miss him very very much. I waited and waited and he never came. I understand how you felt mum!

Well, back to the Japanese. I stayed in Japan for almost a year in 1987. I made friends with a lot of Japanese and to me they were very nice people. They were courteous, disciplined and hard-working. My Opah was from a different time and her view of the Japanese were definitely justified from her experience of the war. Whatever it is I pray that the Japanese will be able to overcome their present nuclear crisis which seemed to be escalating out of control. My heart goes out to them. The tsunami has left half a million of them homeless, tens of thousands are dead, search and rescue efforts are hampered by blizzard and cold weather while the Fukushima nuclear power plant is slowly spewing poisonous radiation and in grave danger of a meltdown. Please help them my Lord!


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18th March, 2011


Hi guys!

In the mode to write these few days! The prominence of Malay horror movie nowadays makes me reflect on my own fear of supernatural beings.

My Fear of Ghosts

About a year and a half ago a neighbour told me that someone saw ghosts on the jambu tree in my backyard at about three in the morning “ Ada tiga ekor!”. I felt blood drained from my face as I listened to one of them describing that to me that. I have lived in the house for about twelve years and I have never seen anything or heard anything out of this world. All I knew was theneighbours' chickens like to sleep on the jambu tree at night. Atan, my nephew, lived with me for quite sometime and he himself never experience anything strange, though it was quite often that he came back late after midnight. My grandfather used to tell me that every house has a “semangat rumah”, a spirit that dwells in every house and guards that particular home and it occupants lovingly. If it is a semangat rumah, then it should love me and not frighten me.

I didn't sleep well that night. Fell asleep a few times but the anxiety woke me up again a few minutes later. I kept thinking that the ghosts might show themselves to me in a horrible way and I might die of fright because they will continue frightening me. When I sit down and think about it very carefully, the core of my fear is that these creatures might disturb me by scaring and frightening me at night and depriving me of restful sleep. Nights are the time of day that I relax, be with friends, having good conversations, sharing laughter, watch news or movies, read my favourite book, play with my pet or just lie down resting before I go to sleep. I desire my nights to be peaceful and full of opportunity for me to do what I like when I'm home and to be able to sleep peacefully. I really need to come to terms about this (I mean my fear of ghosts) on my own so that my life will not be affected. It is not a reasonable option that I have to be scared of them and my life is disrupted when I do not mean any harm ever to them.

What did I do? I kept repeating to myself : “ I acknowledged that there are other beings or creatures that the Lord created. Each of us have the right to exist in this world. If you want to make the jambu tree your home, then stay there by all means, but please do not ever, ever, ever show yourselves to me or my neighbours or the neighbourhood children that used to play in the lane adjacent to my house. Your features might be okay in your world, but in ours you all frighten the shit out of us. Well, forgive me, for implying that you all are hideous but that is as far as far as the conditioning that I grew up with, that ghosts are horrible-looking. I respect you as you are also God's creatures and I never meant you any harm and I believe you never meant me any harm too. Let's coexist together peacefully harmoniously”

That being done I placed a broom and a wooden stick next to me before I go sleep. If anything disturbs me I will fight back using the stick and the broom. God forbids I will not faint first before I hit them with the stick or broom! However I strongly believe the Lord will help people who strives to better themselves, who put effort in overcoming hardships in their lives..

Some people do not believe in ghost. I do mainly because many family members including my father have mentioned their many encounters with ghost. When I was a little girl my adopted father used to tell stories of dead people coming back to their home just after they have been buried. Ghost stories were very much a part of my growing up and ghost stories were used to frighten children then. However to say that I have really encountered a horrible looking ghost that has all intent on scaring me or harming me, no I have never. I did experience one or two encounters that I myself could not explain but they were anything but frightening at the very moment. The creatures themselves looked quite human and were the least interested in me and was trying to avoid me actually. The fear came later on when I realised that they might be ghosts. That's the irony about the whole things which irritates me so very much, is that I am scared of things that do not mean me any harm whatsoever. I am scared of things that I do not understand. I am scared of other beings which may be just need to exist together in this universe.

Life is too short to waste on trivial things like these and time is too precious to be wasted on worrying about things that in no way will make my life better, or will make me a better person. I make effort to live my life as independent and as happy as possible. My Lord please give me your divine guidance! Nudge me to the path that is wise, rational, true, positive, proactive and practical, help me overcome the fear of things I do not understand.

Trying To Be Healthier 2

Towards the end of May 2016, I made up my mind that I have to do something about my obesity. My BMI reading a lot of the time was around 30 or slightly more. At my heaviest I weighed 72 kg. I was already in the obese category. For someone who is 1.53 m tall, I should weigh around 58 kg only.

A lot of the time, I was in denial. I still think my weight was not really that bad. Oh, it was just the beginning of the obese category, just a little, not to worry so much. No, no, I wasn't really obese, just a little overweight actually. 

There are a few things that made me realise that I weigh too much and I really need to do something about it. Firstly, I've been reading too much health information to ignore the truth about my weight. Secondly, I've been witnessing too many cases of lifestyle diseases that go out of control to people close to me. Thirdly, when I look at my nephews and nieces, I realise that they are precious to me and I do not want to burden them with having to take care of me if I fall sick all the time. Short illness is OK, but not chronic long-term serious illness. Of course, that being said, I might still face such illness, I do not know, but at least I must make an effort to be healthier first, before I leave it to fate. Will be good for me and will be good for my family too. Being old does not necessarily mean that you have to be sick. Knowledge is at our fingertips nowadays. You just have to search to find out and learn. Fourthly, even in my old age, I still want my freedom of being able to take good care of myself and my pets, to be able to travel a bit and to be able to move around by myself, to be able to read to my heart content. The freedom that I have right now. This freedom is the thing that constitutes wealth to me. Money is important but I do not need tons of them. I do not need big car or a big house. I do not need a lot of jewelry. I have some Pandora charms, yes, I adore them. As I get older, more and more, I like to be in jeans and T-shirts. 

Can be clearly seen in these selfies that I was very much overweight

Around May my weight was down to 68 kg but it was fluctuating like a yo-yo. Third week of May I decided to cut down sugar and carbohydrates. Which was no easy task because the main bulk of Malaysian cuisine consists of  carbs, sugar, and oil. So breakfast would consists of boiled or fried egg, may be 1 slice of bread and some stir-fried vege which I prepared beforehand and keep in the freezer. Coffee or tea is black, no sugar, no condensed milk. Soft drink is prohibited as it is laden with sugar. Having breakfast outside is a challenge really. Nasi lemak, roti canai, meeehon, mee, kuetiaw, capati, nasi kerabu are all high in carbs. Usually I ended up eating just the ayam rendang and leaving out the nasi lemak. All kuih and sandwiches are off limits too. Lunch is easier if you I eat outside. I can choose vege with fish or egg without rice. At home I began cooking more, Lots of vegetables, I have always love vege, so the shift is very easy. Where fruits are concerned, care has to be taken not to take in too much fruits which have high sugar content. I take butter, coconut oil, olive oil and coconut milk in my food. These are considered good fats and they help you feel satiated. It is a pity, that coconut oil, which used to be the regular oil we used for cooking in Asian countries are now replaced by a whole lot of vegetable oils as prescribed by western societies. If you are trying to lose weight, read up about the goodness of coconut oil as food and its many many good properties. I have to read a lot to make sure I eat right in order to lose weight but I must also make sure I have enough nutrients to support myself. I believe that different people respond to different method of losing weight. You have to find out yourself which one.

By September my weight was down to 60 kg. I was jumping for joy. But I also realised that losing weight is one thing but maintaining it is another. This is not a fad diet that after you lose weight you can go back to eating everything you fancy unlimited in quantities. To be healthy I need to take care. I still need to restrict calorie and I need to be wise what I eat. Plant-based natural food is good, processed foods should be reduced, carbohydrates should be reduced. I do not have sugar craving anymore. Once in a while I still have my favourite cheesecake but I do not crave them intensely like at the beginning of the diet. I weigh around 59 kg now. My blood pressure is most of the time down to 120/80 which is good for a person my age. My BMI is around 25 now. I feel much better and the pain in my left arthritic knee is very much lessened. Understandable, as the heavier you are, the bigger is the force pressing down on your knee. I intend to take care of my weight. It is good to be lighter. You can move faster, you have more energy, clothes fall better on you and it does wonder to your self-esteem.

Losing some weight. These are my latest selfies.