Letter To My Niece

Dearest Kin,
Now that you are married,  my greatest wish for you  is that you will be peaceful and happy in your married life. May you and Khairi be loving enough, wise enough, strong enough and patient enough with yourself and with each other in continuing your journey together as husband and wife. Your Wan Nyah is not married and probably do not know much about married life. However I have observed my few close friends' marriages long enough to notice that there are always challenges that need to be addressed. That is life. Being single too has its own set of challenges.

Do not be afraid about facing difficulties, should you have them. As long as you are determined to move forward there will be ways and means of overcoming them. You are a strong, smart, well educated lady. I am sure you will be resourceful and creative in facing them. You come from a strong, close-knit family. That is one plus point for you. I am very glad that your dad is doing well in his career and is able to give you and your siblings a much more stable family life financially. That is another plus point.

I am so glad too that many of my nephews and nieces have turned out great.  No, not because you have a great job or because you were brilliant in your studies. I am proud of those too, of course. Academic excellence will definitely help you find your footings in life later on. You and some of your cousins have done very well in your studies, much better than me or my siblings. But what is more important to me is what you all do with your lives,  how you handle your adversities, your tenacity to carry on and to persevere, your attitude, your outlook on life, you aspirations and your efforts and determination  to better yourselves.

Among my nephews and nieces, probably your Uncle Atan, you, your Along and your cousin Usop are closest to me. The others, I do not have the opportunity to know better. Probably to some of my 23 nephews and nieces, I am a weird auntie. I was not brought up by your Tok and your Atah. I seldom saw all of you before and when I did come and visit I was reserved and even aloof. My years with my adopted mother has left me with a lot baggages. Numerous issues used to depress me and there were times I felt like I was a shell, a hollow being with no insides whatsoever,  staggering around trying to decipher who I was, while feeling very isolated from my biological family.

Things are much better for me nowadays. Though in reality I am still struggling to regain my self esteem, I do accept myself better and I am able to savour some feelings of warmth and affection in my association with my nephews and nieces, especially the four of you mentioned above. Something that I find difficult to do with my siblings, which are your dad and your uncles. Inside of me, there is always this doubt, fear and embarrassment that may be my siblings don't like me because of my adopted mother quarrelsome personality. I even think that they might even despise me. That was part of my baggage.

The gang at the bridegroom's reception
in Pokok Sena, Kedah on
Dec 11, 2016

The couple with the bride's parents.
Pokok Sena,  Dec 11, 2016. 

From left: Yong, who is Kin's aunt on her mum
side,  Wan Nyah,  Khairi, Kin, Kin's mum and
Kin's dad. The little girl is Kin's niece Zara Azalea.
Pokok Sena Dec 11, 2016

Take good care of yourself and accept yourself completely and unconditionally. The introvert personality tend to rear its unique head here and there in our family. To me being an introvert has some very attractive traits even if we can easily be misunderstood by others. Realise that you have weaknesses but then you have strengths too. You in particular have quite a lot of strengths, I have noticed, one of which is that you are very independent. Something that can be very crucial when you are facing life stresses. Always be curious about the world around you. Take time to ponder about things. We live in a country in which the politicians and the clergies are increasingly demanding that the ordinary people just swallow whatever that are being pushed into our mouths without thinking. Read widely and expand your horizon. A person who reads a lot will not be easily swayed by others. Remember that, it is okay to be different.

So Selamat Pengantin Baru, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and all the very best to you and Khairi. Love you.

Affectionately,

Wan Nyah

Riding The New Train Route

The much anticipated Sg. Buloh-Kajang MRT (also referred to as MRT1) started its Phase 1 operation yesterday, Dec. 16th. It consisted of 12 stations starting at Sg. Buloh and ending in Semantan. The stations are Sungai Buloh, Kampong Selamat, Kwasa Damansara, Kwasa Sentral, Kota Damansara, Surian, Mutiara Damansara, Bandar Utama, TTDI, Phileo Damansara, Pusat Bandar Damansara and Semantan. Let's hope this new transportation network can help alleviate the severe traffic congestion in the city and ordinary people can have another option to travel around Klang Valley, besides driving on their own. May be they can park their vehicles somewhere and ride the train partially on their way, to and from work. For five years I drove to work and I very much understand the stress and hassle of driving on some of Klang Valley roads. I think we have good roads but we have too many cars because the poor transportation system forces people to drive their cars. After the five years, I drove from home to the commuter train station, parked my car there and took the train to Shah Alam. I was lucky that my work place was in front of the Shah Alam commuter station, thanks to CIAST's early planners wise choice of location. The commuter train service was terrible during the period 3 or 4 years before I retired but is improving now.

Most of  the online maps are of poor resolutions,
so I snapped the image of the physical map
distributed by RapidKL staffs.

I had wanted to go to One Utama shopping centre and I thought I should try the new train. Parked my car at Port Klang Commuter Station and took the the commuter train to Subang Jaya. The interchange station between KTM Commuter Pelabuhan Kelang Line with the new MRT is only Sg. Buloh for the time being. That is too far away. For information, an interchange station is one where passengers do not need to exit the station building, in order to switch lines.  As commonly is the case, we need to to change for one line to another to effectively use the system. At Subang Jaya I changed to LRT Kelana Jaya Line heading towards Gombak and I got down 3 stations away at Lembah Subang station. From there, there is a feeder bus that will get you to Surian station on the Sg. Buloh-Kajang MRT. For one month, from Dec. 16th, the MRT and the feeder bus rides are free.

Spanking new, clean, bright
SURIAN station

Inside the new 4-coach train

From Surian I rode the train to Bandar Utama, two stations away.  There are feeder buses here too, to take you to One Utama. It is within walking distance actually. However, the road is busy with all manner of construction and it was a hot day so I took the feeder bus.

Festive air in One Utama, and
bright-coloured deco. A bit
too garish for me. 

Modest deco here

Since the ride is free, I took the MRT from Bandar Utama to Sg. Buloh on the way back. Scenic journey with urban landscape of PJ to industrial estate and rubber plantation near Sg. Buloh station.

Immediately after Bandar Utama station

Financial, commercial district of  PJ/Damansara

City dwellings around Damanasara

Another view from inside the MRT

Another view from inside the MRT

Rubber plantation near Sg. Buloh station

Wan Nyah inside the MRT going towards Sg. Buloh

From my experience, the LRTs are quite good in being punctual and having good frequency of service. Let's hope the MRT is also equally punctual and having good frequency as it is from the same company. KTM Commuter on the other hand still has lots and lots of room for improvement.
One thing I forgot to do while taking the ride is to note the ticket price. I still think it is still not quite convenient for me to go to One Utama taking the trains because I still need to take the feeder bus between Lembah Subang and Surian. Buses are notorious for being stuck in traffic jams. The route taken by the feeder bus goes around the busy parts of PJ and Damansara. It would be difficult to maintain punctuality when you are at the mercy of the road traffics. Once the interchange station Pasar Seni is completed then it would be a much better option for me.

The last image below is not of the MRT,  but of the KTM commuter train, which I took from Sg. Buloh to Pelabuhan Kelang yesterday evening.

View from the cracked window 
glass of the KTM train. It is quite 
common to find such windows 
on KTM commuter trains.

Getting A Cat Into The Carrier

On Saturday I will be travelling back to KK for my niece Syikin send-off to the bridegroom's side in Kedah. Since Monday and Tuesday will be public holidays for Selangor, I have already booked places for boarding for my furry kids at my regular vet.

Sending them for boarding is always a sentimental issue for me. A lot of the time, I would be crying, even if I would leave them there for only four or five days and this event is repeated many times in a year. I am just a weeper or a crybaby where my pets are concerned. In fact where animal welfare is concerned actually. I would have preferred to leave them at home and for someone to come and top-up the kibbles and change the water bowl. But people that I can rely on, stay far away from my place and I do not want to burden them with travelling so far to do that. If my neighbours are pet-friendly people then I would have just leave them at home with plenty of kibbles and plain water provided. They would have stale kibbles after a few days, but they will not be stressed out having to be caged at the boarding place. However some neighbours dislike cats and have already voiced out their displeasure at my Mickey sometimes jumping onto the top of their car or spraying onto the car tyres. I have already apologised to them about that. I tried to put myself in the shoe of a person who doesn't like cats and I have to agree may be I would get irritated too in such instances. Since then I feel uneasy about leaving my cats at home when I am not there, unless otherwise, I really can't help it.

Cats are smart animals. They study you and your routines with them. They sense your vibrations acutely. Calling to them too often before catching them would make them suspicious as you don't normally do that. Closing doors and all outlets suddenly too would easily make them bolted to the end of the block. Offering food too many times in a short period of time and they just walk off. Once I tried to catch Tam and somehow she slipped from my grip and sprinted away. Mickey and Comot got the hint and they both ran away too. For about 2-3 hours after that all three of them stayed away from the house. Watching from a distance, alert and ready to bolt in case Wan Nyah tries again. So today, Wan Nyah must act very normal. Not to pay any special attention, not to call them too often, not to offer treats at unusual time and not to overdo the cuddling.

Carriers for the two girls are out

The big boy watching Wan Nyah
taking out the carriers with suspicion

She is watching too

In 2016

2016 will be leaving us very soon. Many things happen in 2016. On a personal level, 2016 is the year I lost my dad. It was a little unexpected for me and my siblings. We were greatly expecting he would pull through the pneumonia attack. But dad lost the battle after about a week in hospital. Before that, in the middle of 2016, my nephew Along fell sick with some ailment. He lost so much weight that we were really worried about him. Luckily he is very much better now. He beat the infection quite fast and we were very very thankful about that. On another happy note, my niece Syikin got married this year. My niece Diana has a son and her brother Dasila has a second child a few months ago. All together I have 13 grandchildren. I am an Atah Nyah thirteen times over now.

My nephew Along. The canine is Lela,
who was rescued from an old lady who 
couldn't afford to keep her. Lela is one of
the four guard dogs at the chicken farm. She is  
about a year old, very adorable and very 
much loved by the family.

Kin's wedding souvenir

As citizens of this beautiful piece of land jutting out into the Malacca Straits and the South China Sea, we witness a lot of things happening in 2016. From things which are good and amazing, to things which are unbelievable, absurd, bizarre, and downright to things which are disgraceful, humiliating and causing extreme embarrassment.

A lot of people are losing their jobs in 2016. A few are people close to me as well. One nephew is unemployed since 2014 and is doing odd jobs here and there to support himself and his wife. I lost quite a number of classmates in my French class. A few were expatriates who lost their jobs in the oil and gas sector and have to return to their home countries. Other classmates simply stopped because of the financial constraint, The course fee is not really that much. However, when all things considered, people just couldn't afford some things, when their regular income is halved because another family member is unemployed or because the only breadwinner in the family is being retrenched.

The ringgit slid past 4.0 to the US dollar on Wednesday, Aug 12, 2016 for the first time in 17 years. As of today, Dec 8, 2016, 1USD equals RM4.43. There were and are still huge concerns over economic growth and political uncertainty stemming from a government financial scandal. The country's economy has been dogged for months by concerns that slumping oil prices will harm growth as an oil-exporting nation. According to one economist "Malaysia's vulnerability is heightened by deteriorating terms of trade, high debt, and a fragile fiscal position highly dependent on oil-related revenue," I do not know much about economy but that quote is definitely worrying to me. The carefree feeling of yesteryears is gone I think. Previously, there was confidence that as long as you were prepared to work hard, there would always be jobs for you in Malaysia and you would be able to survive. Four or five years before I retired, I was quite confident I could find some part-time jobs easily. Nowadays, even if there are openings for me, I do not have the heart to take it, as I know there are more deserving candidates.

Call me a pessimistic  or a cynic, I am welcoming 2017 with a lot of dread and apprehension.

The Book: Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them

I saw the movie version of this book, I think the second day it opened in Malaysia, on Nov. 18th. It was awesome. I quite adore Eddie Redmayne even before he won the Academy Awards for Stephen Hawking. Haven't read the book, even though it was published in March, 2001. To be honest, I do not own even one book of the Harry Porter series, even if I love the movies. I think I will read this particular one. J.K.Rowling is a very intriguing personality to me and I would love to feel her thoughts through this book. After going through the many facts, I think I am going to love the book even more than the movie.

The following are tidbits about the book which I have taken from Wiki and other sites on the net, as to satisfy my curiosity about the book. The book and the movie version usually will provoke different feelings and emotions in the reader and/or spectator.

                                               
                                                      


About the Book

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them is a book written, hand-lettered and illustrated by J. K. Rowling for the Comic Relief Charity in 2001. Written under the pseudonym Newt Scamander, it is meant to be a copy of the in-universe book Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. The premise is that the book has been released to the Muggle world to help raise money for needy causes. It features a foreword by Albus Dumbledore who also wrote the back cover text.

The prefacing About the Author indicates the book is in its "fifty-second edition."

Throughout the book are hand-written comments by Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger and Harry Potter.

Several different editions have been published. It can also be bought in a bulk set with Quidditch Through The Ages and The Tales of Beedle the Bard.

Fantastic Beasts purports to be a reproduction of a textbook owned by Harry Potter and written by magizoologist Newt Scamander, a character in the fictional Harry Potter series. In the series, Magizoology is the study of magical creatures.

Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts, provides the Foreword and explains the purpose of the special edition of this book (the Comic Relief charity). At the end, he tells the reader, "...The amusing creatures described hereafter are fictional and cannot hurt you." He repeats the Hogwarts motto: "Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus", Latin for "Never tickle a sleeping dragon".

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them contains the history of Magizoology and describes 85 magical species found around the world. Scamander says that he collected most of the information found in the book through observations made over years of travel and across five continents. He notes that the first edition was commissioned in 1918 by Mr Augustus Worme of Obscurus Books. However, it was not published until 1927. It is now in its fifty-second edition.

In the Harry Potter universe, the book is a required textbook for first-year Hogwarts students, having been an approved textbook since its first publication. It is not clear why students need it in their first year, as students do not take Care of Magical Creatures until their third year. However, it may be used as an encyclopedia of Dark creatures studied in Defence Against the Dark Arts classes. In his foreword to the book, Albus Dumbledore notes that it serves as an excellent reference for Wizarding households in addition to its use at Hogwarts.

"Newt's masterpiece had been an approved textbook at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry ever since its publication and must take a substantial amount of credit for our students' consistently high results in Care of Magical Creatures examinations — yet it is not a book to be confined to the classroom. No wizarding household is complete without a copy of Fantastic Beasts, well thumbed by the generations who have riffled its pages in search of the best way to rid the lawn of Horklumps, interpret the mournful cries of the Augurey, or cure their pet Puffskein of drinking out of the toilet." — Albus Dumbledore

Published in 2001, the book contains some references that pertain to later books. For example, the book includes a listing for an Erumpent; an Erumpent horn, described in the book as being dangerous was later featured in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, where its danger is demonstrated. The book also contains the first mention of thestrals.  However, it does not have entries for Banshees, Bicorns, Blood-Sucking Bugbears, Cockatrices or Hinkypunks. While we can read in Albus Dumbledore's foreword that the book is use to find the best way to rid the lawn of Horklumps or cure pet Puffskeins of drinking out of the toilet, the companion book actually does not reveal how to fix these problems.

The book features doodles and comments added by Ron Weasley. The comments would appear to have been written around the time of the fourth book, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. These doodles add some extra information for fans of the series (for example the "Acromantula" entry has a comment confirming that Hogwarts is located in Scotland) along with comic relief (such as Ron saying "you're not kidding" when talking about the Hungarian Horntail being the most fearsome dragon of all, a reference to Harry's encounter with one in the fourth book).

Integrated in the design, the cover of the book appears to have been clawed by an unidentified animal.

                                         


Role in the Harry Potter series
Scamander himself does not appear in the seven Harry Potter books. He is mentioned in passing in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone as the author of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. He was the central character of the film adaptation of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

In the film version of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Newt Scamander's name appeared on the Marauder's Map. Why he was at Hogwarts was not addressed, although it may be that a Hogwarts student was named after him.

What is a Beast
A Beast is one of the three classifications used by the Ministry of Magic to catalogue the various magical creatures that inhabit the wizarding world. Loosely defined, a Beast is a magical creature that does not have sufficient intelligence to understand the laws of the magical community nor bear part of the responsibility in shaping those laws. The current definition was laid down by Minister for Magic Grogan Stump in 1811, and the Beast Division was formed as part of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. There are even extremists who campaign for Muggles to be classified as Beasts.

However, there are exceptions. Centaurs and Merpeople both requested to be classified as Beasts, refusing "Being" status because they objected to some of the other creatures they would have to share "Being" status with, such as Hags and Vampires.


Acromantulas, Manticores and the Sphinx would have all qualified for Being status since they were capable of intelligent speech, but since they try to eat any person that goes near them, are vicious and bloodthirsty, and become dangerous when the things they are guarding are threatened or when they are given the wrong answer to their puzzles or riddles, they were classified as Beasts. Additionally, werewolves are only classified as Beasts in their transformed state. When there is no full moon they retain their Being status like any other human.

About Newt Scamander

Newton Scamander was born in 1897, and developed an interest in magical creatures at an early age, as his mother was a breeder of hippogriffs. As a seven year old, Scamander would regularly dismember Horklumps in his bedroom.

Beginning around 1908, he attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where he was sorted into Hufflepuff. During his time, he enjoyed studying magical creatures. He developed a friendship with Leta Lestrange, a fellow student who both shared his interest in magical beasts as well as a feeling of being an outsider. One day, Leta's experiment went too far and endangered the life of a student. Rather than see his good friend expelled, Newt took the blame and was expelled from Hogwarts in her place. Albus Dumbledore, Newt's Transfiguration teacher at the time, argued strongly, but in vain, against his expulsion. Sometime after however, Newt may have been able to re-enter Hogwarts and eventually graduate.

Professional Life
Joining the Ministry of Magic
"...tedious to the extreme..." — Newt Scamander on his years at the Office for House-Elf Relocation
After leaving Hogwarts, Scamander joined the Ministry of Magic and worked for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. He spent two years in the Office for House-Elf Relocation before transferring to the Beast Division, where his extensive knowledge of magical creatures led to a rapid series of promotions.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
"I was then but a lowly Ministry of Magic employee and leapt at the chance both to augment my pitiful salary of two Sickles a week and to spend my holidays travelling the globe in search of new magical species." —Newt Scamander on Augustus Worme's offer for him to write Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
In 1918, Augustus Worme of Obscurus Books commissioned Scamander to write the first edition of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Scamander, earning only two Sickles a week working at the Ministry, jumped at the chance for extra money and the opportunity to spend his summers travelling the world.

Scamander travelled to a hundred countries across five continents researching his book, observing many magical creatures. He learned about their abilities, gained their trust, and occasionally beat them with his travelling kettle if they got too dangerous. At one point, he met an Obscurus, and although the host died, he managed to contain the dark force within his magically-expanded suitcase.

Newt began a year long trip to document magical creatures and their natural habitats in 1925. After leaving Equatorial Guinea, Scamander arrived in New York in December 1926 for what was supposed to be a brief stopover. However, when a Muggle by the name of Jacob Kowalski (a No-Maj) accidentally opened his suitcase, containing several creatures inside, the episode turned into an incident of major proportions (since magical and non-magical relations in the United States were already frail due to the presence of a Muggle fanatical extremist group, the New Salem Philanthropic Society), requiring the intervention of the Magical Congress of the United States of America.

While in New York, Scamander also met his future wife, Tina Goldstein, as well as her sister, Queenie. During the quest to recover his escaped creatures, Newt had to confront another Obscurus, but it was vanquished by MACUSA. He helped to defeat Percival Graves and revealed that he was none other than Dark Wizard and international criminal Gellert Grindelwald. Shortly after, Scamander said goodbye to Tina, but promised to deliver a copy of his book to her in person.

First published in 1927, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was a bestseller. It became an approved textbook at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and, by the mid-1990s, was in its fifty-second edition. At some point, Scamander authored A Children's Anthology of Monsters, for younger readers.

More Work at the Ministry
In 1947, Scamander was responsible for the inception of the Werewolf Register, and, in 1965, created the Ban on Experimental Breeding, which he considered his proudest moment. Scamander also worked extensively with the Dragon Research and Restraint Bureau, which led him on expeditions all over the world, allowing him to collect information for new editions of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.

Awards and Honours
"Regarded as the world authority on magical creatures, Newt Scamander is the author of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, which has been an approved textbook at Hogwarts since its publication in 1927 and can be found in most wizarding households." —Scamander's Chocolate Frog Card
In 1979, he was awarded the Order of Merlin, Second Class, for services to Magizoology. He was also honoured with a Chocolate Frog Card named after him.

Private Life
Scamander married Tina Goldstein, and together they had at least one child who produced at least one grandson named Rolf.

By the beginning of the 1990s, he was retired and living in Dorset with his wife and their three pet Kneazles, Hoppy, Milly, and Mauler, but was known to study Fire Slugs in the Brazilian rainforest. At some point during the 1993-1994 school year, he visited Hogwarts, possibly to discuss the printing of a version of Fantastic Beasts for Muggle audiences. Following his grandson's marriage to Luna Lovegood, Scamander became the great-grandfather of twin boys, Lorcan and Lysander Scamander.

Personality and Traits
Scamander was a dedicated individual who tirelessly researched new information for his book Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, even when he was supposedly retired. Considered an authority in the field of Magizoology, his works were respected throughout the wizarding community. Newton was described as eccentric and felt more comfortable around creatures than he did around humans.

Magical Abilities and Skills
Magical Ability: Newt is able to conjure a wide variety of spells as well as successfully apparate
Care of Magical Creatures: Newt was interested in Magizoology from a young age and throughout the years, he gained knowledge of a wide variety of creatures from all over the world. He was awarded a famous Wizard Card and an Order of Merlin for services to Magizoology.
Communicating with Animals
Potions: In his books, he wrote down hints how parts of magical creatures could be used in potions. It's unknown if this knowledge was theoretical or if he could brew some of the potions himself.
History of Magic: Newt also had knowledge of magical history, especially Magizoology. A whole chapter of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was devoted to the definitions of beasts, beings and spirits and how the definitions have evolved in past centuries.
Muggle Studies: Newt had studied how Muggles reacted to magical creatures and how beasts included in muggle fairy tales, like fairies, differed from real ones. He also knew about Muggles' awareness of Diricawl and that they believed that they hunted it to extinction. A whole chapter in his book was about Muggle awareness of beasts.
Possessions
Wand newton
Wand: His wand is made of Lime with elements of Shell and Bone core. It also has a piece of Mother of Pearl in the base.
Suitcase: A magical suitcase enchanted with an Undetectable Extension Charm in which he held a number of beasts while he travelled. He could hide the contents from Muggles by flipping a switch on the case. In 1926, whilst visiting the United States of America, the beasts in Newt's suitcase escaped, whereupon he was accosted by Percival Graves, a powerful MACUSA Auror and right-hand man of the American wizarding community's leader, Seraphina Picquery. The suitcase contains its own world with many different habitats for each creature. It also contains a place for Newt. Tina takes the suitcase with Newt inside it to MACUSA headquarters where she tells them about the creatures that have escaped.
Passport: Newt possessed a muggle passport used during his worldwide travels.

Scamander's full name (Newton Artemis Fido Scamander) is drawn from a variety of sources:
Newton refers to the newt creature, which in turn is used as Scamander's nickname, the surname is possibly also taken from the well-known English mathematician Isaac Newton, whose scientific research was coloured by influences of the quasi-magical practise called alchemy;
Artemis is the name of the Greek goddess of the hunt; and
"Fido" is a common dog name, from the Latin for "faithful."
Scamander is a river god in Greek mythology, whose name was possibly chosen for its similarity to "salamander."

His nickname, "Newt," is, as stated above, also the name of a small, brightly-coloured salamander-like animal.

The Wandering and Meandering Mind Revisited

The following are the other e-mails from the thread The Wandering and Meandering Mind which I started writing and e-mailing to my close friends in 2010.

I named the thread such because the mind to me is such a powerful part of us. It goes on wandering at times, going into far away places as well as nearby locations. It slowly meanders, just like a river,  all along the valley of thought.

A river meanders along the flood
plain. The loops of the meanders might
form ox-bow lakes after some time. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
19th November, 2010

Hi gang,

Being a writer is not easy (ha ha ha perasan pulau I ni) . At least that is what I think because I am not yet a writer. Writer in the making may be eh? Friday morning humour!. I do like writing, that is, I think I can express myself on paper/screen much better than I do verbally. So yesterday I've decided to write you all everyday. Resume my unofficial personal column "The Wandering and Meandering mind" which I started quite some time ago. Orang sibuk dengan blog, I guna e-mail biasa je dah le. Something simple, fresh , original that I can share with you all. You know what? This morning I face a major stumbling block. I find I have nothing to write. Writer's block ke ni? May be I need a muse. A muse (which is a noun in this case, by the way) is someone that helps provide enthusiasm or determination for artists such as painters, poets, musicians to create something artistic. Let me see, there's quite a long list of guys that I would like to be my muse.............starting with Edward Cullen may be!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
22nd November, 2010

Hi gang,

It was drizzling just now as I walked from the commuter station to CIAST. The monsoon is here again. It looks like today is going to be that sort of dreary cloudy grey day and it might rain all day. It is a little depressing for me. I am that kind of person who is quite affected by weather. It was worse when I was having my depression in those old days It was also quite difficult during winter when I was abroad as winter's greyness abroad was much worse that our rainy days here.

Anyway I am not going to let this grey weather depresses me today or any other day for that matter. Life is too precious, too valuable to be spoiled by bad weather!

I'll begin the day by counting my blessings. Alamak, cliche isn't, this is always being said every now and then. Count your blessing. OK let's see!

-First and foremost I'm healthy. I might be overweight but at least generally I am healthy.
-I am independent, I lead my life the way I want it. It hadn't been smooth sailing but it is not sailing if it is always very calm and not windy.
-I had all of you for my friends. I might not be a perfect friend for you all, I have my faults, but I do believe at times I am irresistible (perasan da....he he he.).
-My life is OK, I am not rich and neither do I have lots of saving but it is OK for my own purposes.
-I have gone through quite a lot. There had been relationship problems in the past and some were quite painful. I have learnt a lot from those and indeed they had made me become cynical, distrusting, aloof, indifferent in some ways but in others they definitely made me a stronger tougher person. I thank the Lord for giving me the strength to go through my difficult time because somehow I survived through it all. At the time I was having all those problems I thought I would evaporate into thin air and die but here I am.
-The school of life is continuous and I definitely have a lot to learn still.

By the time I finished writing this, the sun is shining quite bright!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8th December, 2010

Hi guys!

Working again after the four-day break. Saturday, Sunday, Monday I was on leave and Tuesday was the Awal Muharram public holiday. The break was indeed a bliss in the sense that I could replace some insufficient sleep and did some organising and reorganising and throwing away things in the house. I am a self-confessed hoarder! Hard for me to admit but then for any affliction to get cured/better, first and foremost the sufferer must acknowledge that there is a problem. Though not at the serious level like those shown on Biography Channel, I have to admit I like to accumulate things/possessions and I have difficulties throwing away things that I don't already use. Nothing like garbage or trash like depicted in the series"HOARDERS" but still there are too many stuffs around.

How did the hoarding start? What were the underlying factors that make me like to buy, keep, accumulate things? I'm not really sure. However I guessed there were things that happened especially during my formative years that contributed to that. Must be some deep-seated insecurities. Anyway the important thing is I realised that there is a problem and I'm finding ways to overcome it. Clearing up the clutter is one way but I must also really tackle the reasons for the hoarding otherwise the accumulating will start again. First and foremost, stop buying! Well I have actually reduce buying some stuffs, but not other stuffs (really, that is the defense mechanism of a hoarder!)

I'm a bit lonely today as all my beloved companions are away! Wrote this during lunch break while following the two-day ergonomics course.

Love you all!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
31st January, 2011

Hi gang,

As can be observed the weather is grey, dull and dreary today. Looks like continuation of yesterday's rain. I wear yellow today because I hope it will make me feel warm and cosy despite this sad pathetic weather. Well, on the positive side, at least we are not flooded down here in Klang Valley. The people in Labis already had it quite bad I think.

I was reading about the Egyptian riots in the papers today. Didn't know about it until this morning because I didn't watch news programme these few days. Our government was saying things like Malaysians in Egypt are okay and the students in Egypt will not be brought back and some tour agencies were saying that they had no plans to cancel all confirmed trips to Egypt. I believe Egypt depends quite a bit on her tourism sector and it is sad to read how protesters looted the famed Egyptian Museum, ripping up heads of mummies in the process. Mobs in a frenzy are indeed very emotional, irrational and dangerous.

I always believe it is bad to make judgement on anything unless you really know what it is all about. There must be reasons why Egyptians took to the streets and this time the riots erupted it seemed with little warning.. A lot has to do with the ruling government and with Hosni Mubarak. A lot has also been said about the repressive and neglecting nature of the government causing explosions of anger among civilians.

Hosni Mubarak's wealth is estimated to be at around US20 billion and he has been in power since 1981. To me, a mere, humble, sometimes financially struggling Malaysian civil servant, to be worth US20 billion is a mind-blowing, humongous and a little too surreal an experience. It really amazed me that with that kind of wealth the president still clings to power despite the obvious resentment and dissatisfaction of certain quarters towards him, despite the previous assassination attempts on him, despite him being 82. Perhaps that is the downside of power, it makes you greedier and you just never know when to stop.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
17th March, 2011

Hi guys,

I still have the sore throat though it is much better today. Its rather quiet in PPL. A lot of people are on leave because of the school holidays, as it is in the whole of CIAST. The weather is cloudy and dull and my thought keeps lingering on what is happening in Japan.

When I was about to go to Japan before, I still remember, my maternal grandmother, my Opah cautioning me " Jaga-jaga depa tu jahat!". That was way back in 1987 and my gentle, caring, loving Opah is no more here. She passed away about two years after that. Opah was a divorcee with four kids during World War II. She was divorced from my grandfather when he took a second wife. Opah had to fend for herself and the five kids by selling things from her home as well as peddling from house to house and kampung to kampung, mostly I was told in the vicinity of Teluk Intan. My late mum told me Opah sold anything she could lay her hands own, but mostly kain batik. Those were difficult times and she was indeed struggling. I didn't exactly know whether my grandfather was a responsible father in term of providing for the kids at that time. However mum did mentioned to me there were times, when she and my uncles and auntie were missing their father so much that they waited at the junction of the road to his house (with the new wife) just to see him because he did not come home to them for weeks. And he never came. Mum was crying when she was relating that story to me. That story stuck with me to this very day. I never knew my maternal grandfather as he passed away, if I am not wrong, a few months after I was born. Opah later worked in Teluk Intan and subsequently in Ipoh with the family of the Raja DiHilir at that time. She was nanny to the family. The fact that my Opah was a servant in the raja household was something degrading to a lot of the members of my father's side of the family particularly my adopted mother (who is actually my father's elder sister). To this day I do not understand why. Is it degrading to be a servant when you perform honest job to support your family. I salute you Opah, for your strength and determination and the single-mindedness in looking after your family and keeping them together.

When my adopted parents divorced in 1965, I and my adopted mother moved from Sabak Bernam to Slim River to live with my paternal grandparents for a while. My adopted father, for all his faults with my adopted mother, was a very loving gentle father to me. As a kid (I was 11 at that time) I always believed that my adopted father would come to see me as I miss him very very much. I waited and waited and he never came. I understand how you felt mum!

Well, back to the Japanese. I stayed in Japan for almost a year in 1987. I made friends with a lot of Japanese and to me they were very nice people. They were courteous, disciplined and hard-working. My Opah was from a different time and her view of the Japanese were definitely justified from her experience of the war. Whatever it is I pray that the Japanese will be able to overcome their present nuclear crisis which seemed to be escalating out of control. My heart goes out to them. The tsunami has left half a million of them homeless, tens of thousands are dead, search and rescue efforts are hampered by blizzard and cold weather while the Fukushima nuclear power plant is slowly spewing poisonous radiation and in grave danger of a meltdown. Please help them my Lord!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
18th March, 2011


Hi guys!

In the mode to write these few days! The prominence of Malay horror movie nowadays makes me reflect on my own fear of supernatural beings.

My Fear of Ghosts

About a year and a half ago a neighbour told me that someone saw ghosts on the jambu tree in my backyard at about three in the morning “ Ada tiga ekor!”. I felt blood drained from my face as I listened to one of them describing that to me that. I have lived in the house for about twelve years and I have never seen anything or heard anything out of this world. All I knew was theneighbours' chickens like to sleep on the jambu tree at night. Atan, my nephew, lived with me for quite sometime and he himself never experience anything strange, though it was quite often that he came back late after midnight. My grandfather used to tell me that every house has a “semangat rumah”, a spirit that dwells in every house and guards that particular home and it occupants lovingly. If it is a semangat rumah, then it should love me and not frighten me.

I didn't sleep well that night. Fell asleep a few times but the anxiety woke me up again a few minutes later. I kept thinking that the ghosts might show themselves to me in a horrible way and I might die of fright because they will continue frightening me. When I sit down and think about it very carefully, the core of my fear is that these creatures might disturb me by scaring and frightening me at night and depriving me of restful sleep. Nights are the time of day that I relax, be with friends, having good conversations, sharing laughter, watch news or movies, read my favourite book, play with my pet or just lie down resting before I go to sleep. I desire my nights to be peaceful and full of opportunity for me to do what I like when I'm home and to be able to sleep peacefully. I really need to come to terms about this (I mean my fear of ghosts) on my own so that my life will not be affected. It is not a reasonable option that I have to be scared of them and my life is disrupted when I do not mean any harm ever to them.

What did I do? I kept repeating to myself : “ I acknowledged that there are other beings or creatures that the Lord created. Each of us have the right to exist in this world. If you want to make the jambu tree your home, then stay there by all means, but please do not ever, ever, ever show yourselves to me or my neighbours or the neighbourhood children that used to play in the lane adjacent to my house. Your features might be okay in your world, but in ours you all frighten the shit out of us. Well, forgive me, for implying that you all are hideous but that is as far as far as the conditioning that I grew up with, that ghosts are horrible-looking. I respect you as you are also God's creatures and I never meant you any harm and I believe you never meant me any harm too. Let's coexist together peacefully harmoniously”

That being done I placed a broom and a wooden stick next to me before I go sleep. If anything disturbs me I will fight back using the stick and the broom. God forbids I will not faint first before I hit them with the stick or broom! However I strongly believe the Lord will help people who strives to better themselves, who put effort in overcoming hardships in their lives..

Some people do not believe in ghost. I do mainly because many family members including my father have mentioned their many encounters with ghost. When I was a little girl my adopted father used to tell stories of dead people coming back to their home just after they have been buried. Ghost stories were very much a part of my growing up and ghost stories were used to frighten children then. However to say that I have really encountered a horrible looking ghost that has all intent on scaring me or harming me, no I have never. I did experience one or two encounters that I myself could not explain but they were anything but frightening at the very moment. The creatures themselves looked quite human and were the least interested in me and was trying to avoid me actually. The fear came later on when I realised that they might be ghosts. That's the irony about the whole things which irritates me so very much, is that I am scared of things that do not mean me any harm whatsoever. I am scared of things that I do not understand. I am scared of other beings which may be just need to exist together in this universe.

Life is too short to waste on trivial things like these and time is too precious to be wasted on worrying about things that in no way will make my life better, or will make me a better person. I make effort to live my life as independent and as happy as possible. My Lord please give me your divine guidance! Nudge me to the path that is wise, rational, true, positive, proactive and practical, help me overcome the fear of things I do not understand.

Trying To Be Healthier 2

Towards the end of May 2016, I made up my mind that I have to do something about my obesity. My BMI reading a lot of the time was around 30 or slightly more. At my heaviest I weighed 72 kg. I was already in the obese category. For someone who is 1.53 m tall, I should weigh around 58 kg only.

A lot of the time, I was in denial. I still think my weight was not really that bad. Oh, it was just the beginning of the obese category, just a little, not to worry so much. No, no, I wasn't really obese, just a little overweight actually. 

There are a few things that made me realise that I weigh too much and I really need to do something about it. Firstly, I've been reading too much health information to ignore the truth about my weight. Secondly, I've been witnessing too many cases of lifestyle diseases that go out of control to people close to me. Thirdly, when I look at my nephews and nieces, I realise that they are precious to me and I do not want to burden them with having to take care of me if I fall sick all the time. Short illness is OK, but not chronic long-term serious illness. Of course, that being said, I might still face such illness, I do not know, but at least I must make an effort to be healthier first, before I leave it to fate. Will be good for me and will be good for my family too. Being old does not necessarily mean that you have to be sick. Knowledge is at our fingertips nowadays. You just have to search to find out and learn. Fourthly, even in my old age, I still want my freedom of being able to take good care of myself and my pets, to be able to travel a bit and to be able to move around by myself, to be able to read to my heart content. The freedom that I have right now. This freedom is the thing that constitutes wealth to me. Money is important but I do not need tons of them. I do not need big car or a big house. I do not need a lot of jewelry. I have some Pandora charms, yes, I adore them. As I get older, more and more, I like to be in jeans and T-shirts. 

Can be clearly seen in these selfies that I was very much overweight

Around May my weight was down to 68 kg but it was fluctuating like a yo-yo. Third week of May I decided to cut down sugar and carbohydrates. Which was no easy task because the main bulk of Malaysian cuisine consists of  carbs, sugar, and oil. So breakfast would consists of boiled or fried egg, may be 1 slice of bread and some stir-fried vege which I prepared beforehand and keep in the freezer. Coffee or tea is black, no sugar, no condensed milk. Soft drink is prohibited as it is laden with sugar. Having breakfast outside is a challenge really. Nasi lemak, roti canai, meeehon, mee, kuetiaw, capati, nasi kerabu are all high in carbs. Usually I ended up eating just the ayam rendang and leaving out the nasi lemak. All kuih and sandwiches are off limits too. Lunch is easier if you I eat outside. I can choose vege with fish or egg without rice. At home I began cooking more, Lots of vegetables, I have always love vege, so the shift is very easy. Where fruits are concerned, care has to be taken not to take in too much fruits which have high sugar content. I take butter, coconut oil, olive oil and coconut milk in my food. These are considered good fats and they help you feel satiated. It is a pity, that coconut oil, which used to be the regular oil we used for cooking in Asian countries are now replaced by a whole lot of vegetable oils as prescribed by western societies. If you are trying to lose weight, read up about the goodness of coconut oil as food and its many many good properties. I have to read a lot to make sure I eat right in order to lose weight but I must also make sure I have enough nutrients to support myself. I believe that different people respond to different method of losing weight. You have to find out yourself which one.

By September my weight was down to 60 kg. I was jumping for joy. But I also realised that losing weight is one thing but maintaining it is another. This is not a fad diet that after you lose weight you can go back to eating everything you fancy unlimited in quantities. To be healthy I need to take care. I still need to restrict calorie and I need to be wise what I eat. Plant-based natural food is good, processed foods should be reduced, carbohydrates should be reduced. I do not have sugar craving anymore. Once in a while I still have my favourite cheesecake but I do not crave them intensely like at the beginning of the diet. I weigh around 59 kg now. My blood pressure is most of the time down to 120/80 which is good for a person my age. My BMI is around 25 now. I feel much better and the pain in my left arthritic knee is very much lessened. Understandable, as the heavier you are, the bigger is the force pressing down on your knee. I intend to take care of my weight. It is good to be lighter. You can move faster, you have more energy, clothes fall better on you and it does wonder to your self-esteem.

Losing some weight. These are my latest selfies.

Merantau Ke Deli

(Third post in BM)

A compact novel, only 232 pages. A must read. 

Baru selesai membaca novel Merantau Ke Deli ini untuk kali ketiga. Novel Hamka ini pertama kali saya baca ketika saya dalam usia awal belasan tahun semasa belajar di STF Johor Bahru. Saya masih anak-anak lagi pada ketika itu, sama ada dalam Kelas Peralihan (Remove Class) atau Tingkatan Satu, sudah tak berapa ingat. Masa dalam Kelas Peralihan itu rasanya menghadapi masa yang berat. It was indeed a tough time. Kerana beralih ke dalam Bahasa Inggeris didalam semua mata pelajaran. Saya sebelumnya belajar disekolah kebangsaan semasa disekolah rendah. Bukan mudah juga menguasai Bahasa Inggeris. Bagaimana pun saya sangat beruntung kerana mempunyai ramai guru yang berdedikasi dan juga ramai kawan-kawan yang kompetitif untuk sama-sama menguasai Bahasa Inggeris. Semasa di Kelas Peralihan saya mengambil kesempatan membaca buku-buku Bahasa Malaysia atau Bahasa Indonesia yang ada di perpustakaan sekolah kerana pada masa itu belum selesa membaca dalam Bahasa Inggeris. Pada masa inilah saya mengenali penulis-penulis seperti A. Samad Said, Arena Wati, Pak Sako, Anas K. Hadimaya, Hamka, Nur Sutan Iskandar, Sutan Takdir Ali Shahbana, Keris Mas dll.

Novel ini meninggalkan banyak kesan mendalam kepada saya walau pun pada kali pertama saya membacanya pada usia 13-14 tahun. Terasa sedih sehingga menangis dan marah kerana wanita di eksploitasi dan ditindas. Adat digunakan digunakan adakalanya untuk memberi kepentingan kepada perempuan seperti dalam adat Perpatih Minangkabau. Tetapi adat itu juga digunakan untuk menindas wanita lain yang bukan dari golongan Minang. Ternyata budaya kedaerahan yang sangat kuat di Sumatera ketika itu. Mungkin masih kuat pengaruhnya hingga sekarang pun.  Dalam Merantau Ke Deli, Leman disarankan  menceraikan Poniem kerana Poniem orang Jawa, bukan dari kelompok Minang seperti Leman sendiri. Walau pun Poniem tidak bersalah, berbudi bahasa tinggi dan sangat baik orangnya. Bahkan Poniemlah yang sama-sama bekerja keras membantu Leman sehingga beliau menjadi kaya. Poniem diceraikan dengan talak tiga kerana dia bukan "orang awak". Dia dipandang rendah dan hina kerana bekas kuli kontrak yang berhijrah dari Pulau Jawa ke daerah Deli di utara pulau Sumatera, bekerja di ladang getah, tembakau atau teh. Kemiskinan dan pergantungan hidup kepada lelaki menyebabkan banyak perempuan dianiya. Berkali-kali Poniem ditipu, sehingga akhirnya beliau akur menjadi perempuan simpanan mandur diladang tempat dia bekerja. Pada pandangan saya, kehidupan pekerja ladang mungkin masih tidak banyak bezanya dengan keadaan sekarang.

Dalam novel ini jelas sekali Hamka mengkritik kepincangan yang dilihatnya wujud dalam pengamalan adat masyarakatnya. Merantau ke Deli penuh dengan kritikan sosial terhadap budaya Minang yang pada pandangan Hamka amat materialistik dan menyusahkan kepada pihak lelaki.

Adat orang Minang ketika itu, kalau merantau harus tidak lupa untuk kembali membawa harta pulang ke negeri sendiri untuk menambahkan harta suku masing-masing. Di negeri asalnya, juga perlu dibuatkan rumah untuk anak perempuannya dan dibelikan petak sawah untuk isteri, agar pergaulan sesama suami isteri menjadi tegap dan teguh.

Novel ini turut merakamkan suasana zaman ketika mana daerah Deli sedang berkembang akibat dari pembukaan onderneming kebun tembakau oleh Belanda. Ramai rakyat dari luar pulau Sumatera terjebak dengan janji pekerjaan yang senang akhirnya terperangkap dengan sistem poenale sanctie, akhirnya mendapati mereka dipaksa bekerja berat dan upah yang sedikit.

Karya ini pertama kali diterbitkan secara bersiri  dalam majalah Pedoman Masjarakat (1939-1940) dan dibukukan pada tahun 1941 oleh penerbit Cerdas Medan.

Menjelang 2017 (updated)

(Post kedua dalam Bahasa Malaysia)

Pada 28 September 2016 lalu, genaplah 3 tahun saya bersara daripada perkhidmatan awam. Masa berlalu dan dalam masa lebih kurang sebulan lagi, kita akan menyambut tahun baru 2017.

Masa awal persaraan dulu, perasaan biasa sahaja. Tidak bimbang sangat tentang keadaan ekonomi negara. Yang saya bimbangkan ialah kalau kalau saya tidak pandai menggunakan masa dan saya akan jadi bosan dan juga merasa nostalgia yang amat sangat kepada kerja dan pejabat tempat bertugas. Kebimbangan itu ternyata tidak menjadi kenyataan. Saya lalui perubahan ke alam persaraan tanpa banyak masaalah. Sebulan dua terasa kehilangan dan ketiadaan kawan-kawan rapat yang hampir setiap hari sarapan bersama dan makan tengahari bersama. Saya ni seorang introvert,  dan mudah mendapat kawan baru bukanlah satu kekuatan personaliti saya. Saya mengambil masa untuk mengenali seseorang. Bagaimana pun jika saya senang dengan seseorang, individu tersebut selalunya akan kekal menjadi kawan saya buat masa yang panjang.  Pada masa yang sama juga ketika awal persaraan itu,  fikiran saya banyak tertumpu kepada isu osteoarthritis lutut kanan saya yang perlu dibedah pada hujung tahun 2013.

Menjelang tahun 2017 perasaan pesara ini penuh dengan kebimbangan. Kalau dalam filem P. Ramlee disebut sebagai perasaan gundah gulana. Banyak sekali persoalan timbul difikiran. Saya ni bukanlah pandai pasal ekonomi atau politik. Rasanya tidak perlu lah pakar ekonomi untuk memahami bahawa keadaan kewangan negara adalah tidak sihat pada ketika ini. Sering terbaca  atau terdengar berita disana sini ramai orang diberhentikan kerja. Ramai yang moonlighting sebagai pemandu Uber. Banyak pula shoplot dipusat belibelah yang tutup. Banyak berita tersebar tentang kekurangan peralatan atau peralatan yang tidak diselenggara di hospital-hospital kerajaan. Ada pula institusi latihan kerajaaan yang membatalkan pengambilan pelajar baru mereka bagi sesi Januari dan Julai 2017. Peruntukan biasiswa untuk pelajar Malaysia dipotong. Terdengar pula berita bahawa wang berbilion yang dipinjam daripada Kumpulan Wang Persaraan (KWAP) masih belum dibayar kembali, walau pun sudah bertahun juga dipinjamkan. Berita-berita demikian membuatkan saya amat bimbang. Negara berhutang begitu banyak sekali sehingga mungkin satu hari nanti, apa juga bentuk dana kerajaaan yang ada akan digunakan untuk membayar balik hutang piutang yang menimbun tersebut. Adalah tidak mustahil kalau satu hari nanti kerajaaan terpaksa memotong pencen pesara atau mengurangkan gaji kakitangan awam sebagaimana yang terjadi kepada rakyat Greece. Pada satu ketika kerajaan Greece dikejar oleh si pemberi hutang yang memaksa pelaksanaan economic reform yang sangat membebankan rakyat jelatanya.

Saya bersyukur saya masih mempunyai pendapatan yang tetap untuk menyara kehidupan saya dan tiga kucing kesayangan saya. Saya mesti berjimat cermat dengan pendapatan yang saya ada. Standard of living semakin meningkat terutamanya di kawasan bandar besar menyebabkan nilai wang semakin menurun. Makanan kucing pun semuanya sudah naik harga.

Apakah yang akan dibawa oleh 2017? Awan mendung yang suram? Atau ada kelihatan kelibat matahari berada di sebalik awan tersebut? Kita tidak boleh berdoa sahaja supaya keadaan berubah. Pemimpin mestilah jujur dan berazam kuat untuk memperbaiki keadaan. Bukan sekadar untuk mempertahankan kedudukan sendiri supaya tidak tersisih daripada berada didalam golongan yang berkuasa.

(Update)  22 November 2016
Saya pergi ke Pusat Perubatan Universiti Malaya semalam kerana ada temujanji. Saya mengambil teksi berkupon daripada KL Sentral dengan harga RM18. Teksi mengambil jalan pintas melalui Universiti Malaya (UM) keluar melalui exit belakang UM dan kemudian masuk ke Jalan Universiti. Terkejut saya melihat terdapat barisan panjang teksi yang menunggu untuk masuk ke PMUM mengambil penumpang sepanjang Jalan Universiti, bermula dari exit belakang UM hingga ke lampu trafik simpang ke PMUM.  Tidak pernah saya melihat keadaan demikian walau pun saya selalu berkunjung ke PMUM. Didalam PMUM tempat teksi menunggu penuh dengan teksi. Pemandu teksi yang saya naiki memberitahu bahawa beliau sendiri menunggu hampir satu setengah jam di KL Sentral  sebelum mengambil saya. Patutlah sekarang sering kita dengar pertelingkahan diantara pemandu teksi dengan pemandu Uber. Kebetulan sajakah semua ini? Atau ini adalah gambaran sebenar kemerosotan ekonomi negara? 

Dekorasi perayaan Krismas pun macam sangat
ala kadar saja. Ke belum siap lagi? 

Being Me

When I was growing up as a child, I was always made to believe that there was something very wrong with me. My circle of friends was always small, I was always quiet in a big group. In school activities I preferred to work alone rather than in a group and I had no problem being on my own. Even as a child, there would be times that I craved for solitude.

In my teens, my adopted mother verbally abused me because I didn't make friends easily like other teenagers or I was often quiet when in a group or with strangers or I was socially awkward especially when compared to her. She just couldn't accept that not everybody is gregarious and sociable. It eluded her that the worthiness of a person does not depend solely on her sociability or unsociability for that matter, it depends on the goodness of his or her heart. Some people are born quiet and will only be talkative within his or her small intimate group. You can be good and succeed in life whether you are outgoing and sociable or if you are reserved and quiet. The most important thing is to accept that person and to understand every personality has his or her strengths and weaknesses. Over the years I learnt to accommodate the needs and requirements of my job. I learnt to be comfortable with public speaking, to be at ease among many course participants and to learn to enjoy time with a lot of people. I learnt to smile more and make sincere effort at being interested in what the group is doing or talking about. Human beings are tenacious and adaptable and you can stretch your personality to a certain level,  to suit your surroundings. For the introverts, this adaptation will mean that they will need time to recharge their batteries on their own. I know my weaknesses as an introvert but I also know there are some strengths that I can tap into. I am glad that I am able to assure one or two of my nephews and nieces who are introverts themselves, to value themselves more, and to stop beating themselves flat because they think something is wrong with them.

Truth of the matter is, at 62, I am still socially awkward. I hate reception where people mingle around making small talks. I hate weddings and I hate kenduris, unless of course, they are about my very intimate circle of family and friends. I still prefer to work alone and my circle of close friends is still always small. The only difference is that I have learnt to accept myself and I can politely tell people that I am okay and do not need to be changed into something else to make me happy. My idea of of being okay or being happy might be very different from the mainstream population. The following is a good article that I just adore.


10 Reasons Why Introverts Are Incredibly Attractive People

COMMUNICATION BY CHRISTIAN SALAFIA | 5K SHARES

Shy. Reserved. Slightly geeky. Socially awkward. If you ask people to describe an introvert, you’ll most likely hear them described these ways. It’s not their fault, movies and television shows often portray introverts this way. From the days of The Breakfast Club to Little Miss Sunshine to Napoleon Dynamite to The Perks of Being a Wallflower, introverts are often portrayed as awkwardly shy people, often ok to average looking, and typically unpopular. Further reinforcing this stereotype are movies like She’s All That and Can’t Buy Me Love where the popular kids make a bet that they can ‘make over’ the introvert and turn them into popular extroverts. Fortunately, the moral of most of these latter stories is that the introverts don’t need to be turned into exceptional, incredibly attractive people by the extroverted popular crowd. They already are. Introverts are incredibly attractive people, they just typically don’t put their awesomeness on display for everyone to see.


They’re Deep Thinkers

Introverts are notoriously ‘in their own head’ much of the time. For most introverts, it’s a safe place to be. Inside their heads, they engage in deep conversations, ruminate about life, the universe, and everything, and take the time to really reflect on all that’s going on in the world around them. When an introvert speaks, it’s almost guaranteed that they have spent many hours thinking about the subject, forming their opinions, and carefully choosing the words they wish to use.

They Have More Intimate Connections

It takes something special for an introvert to bring you into their world. When they do, you can bet that they believe you’re someone special. By bringing down barriers, an introvert is letting you know they’re interested in connecting with you beyond a superficial level. They’re displaying a level of intimacy and vulnerability that not many people get to see.

They’re Great Listeners

Everyone dreams of having that partner with whom they can just talk about everything and nothing for hours on end. Someone who listens and really understands what is in your heart. This is one of the introvert’s superpowers. They love to listen and if you’re looking for advice or support, what they will offer is something they’re giving just to you, and that’s valuable beyond measure.

They’re Mysterious

Think Gatsby. In a crowd, they’re the ones hovering around the outside, watching, observing, usually with a sly smile and a devious look on their face. If it’s their party, they’re making sure everyone is having a good time, floating from group to group, never staying in one place too long. They’re around long enough so you know they’re there, but not long enough for you to know much about them. They’re not flirting with every face they see. They’re not bragging, boasting, or showing off. They’re in absolute control of their mood, their emotions, and even their body language. Yet, somehow, they manage to attract people to them. Their mysteriousness is magnetic, and it leaves people wondering just what it is they have.

They’re A Challenge

Just about everyone loves a challenge. While extroverts lay it all out there for other people to see, introverts, being more guarded, let you know exactly what they want you to know when they want you to know it. Usually, introverts are experts in letting little bits of information out that are intended to pique the curiosity of someone they’re interested in. Introverts are great social fishermen. Because they’re more inclined to have fewer, yet more intimate connections, this trail of information is to not only designed to attract someone, but as a test to see if the person they’re attempting to attract is worth the emotional investment. Creating this challenge ensures that the introvert is that much more attractive. The joy is in the pursuit, and the introvert knows how to make the reward bigger than you imagine.

They Take Care Of Themselves

Overall, the introvert doesn’t want to draw unwanted attention to themselves. They prefer to blend in with whatever crowd they happen to find themselves in. However, introverts leave clues. As they tend to spend more time in solitude than in crowds, introverts are meticulous in how they take care of themselves. You’ll often see them with their hair neat and styled, their nails are trimmed, they smell good, and their clothing fits them perfectly. Introverts often look and dress like a model without all the flash.

They Take Care Of Others

Because they know what it is like to be on the outside looking in, introverts are great at taking care of those they care about. They have a generous spirit, and tend to embrace genuine altruism. They’re the ones that will bring you a cup of tea every morning, bring you soup when you’re sick, and offer to watch your house when you’re on vacation. The truly generous, those who give without the expectation of receiving in return, are beautiful people inside and out.

They Know Themselves

There’s something to be said about someone who is secure in who they are. Introverts know what they like and don’t like. They are deeply connected with their values and know what they want to get out of life. Such strong self confidence makes one more attractive, sophisticated, and desirable.

They Are Easy To Be Around

Introverts avoid the spotlight like vampires avoid sunlight. They’re not looking to be the center of attention. They’re not looking to make a huge impression on everyone around them. They’re simply looking to relax and enjoy the company they’re with. It doesn’t matter what you want to do, they’re just happy to be spending time with you and are more than happy to let you have the spotlight on the karaoke stage all to yourself. While they’ll likely run and hide when their name is called, you can be assured that when you step off the stage, they’ll be the ones cheering the loudest.

They Are Loyal

Introverts are very intentional about who they want to spend their time with. Any relationship, whether business, social, or romantic, requires a substantial investment of time and energy for an introvert. Because of this, introverts are not always on the prowl for the next big thing, the next score, the next connection that’ll help them climb the ladder. They’re invested in you and will remain invested in you no matter the distraction. They’ll defend you when nobody else will and be at your side when everyone else abandons you. Just don’t take their loyalty for granted or take advantage of them too many times. They’re loyal, however if you burn them too many times, they’ll be nothing more than a memory.

In summary, introverts are amazing people with rich hidden depths, and if you are one or know one, rejoice!

Family Life

Family Life is a book by Akhil Sharma which I finished reading about 4 months ago. The book is 210 pages and I finished it in one and a half days. Since I have already began reading a few other books, I have forgotten some of the good details of the book which I intended to write. So I have taken the synopsis from a few sites on the Net.

What might it be like to be a member of a poor family living in Delhi that has emigrated to America? What job might your father do there? Where might you live? Family Life, the second widely acclaimed novel from the Indian-American writer Akhil Sharma, answers these questions. Look, every page seems to say: this is our apartment; this is what we eat. Listen, it says, how different it is here. And so we look and learn, while, in simple, straightforward prose, Family Life lays out a story of unbearable loss and estrangement. For not only is this novel about leaving a homeland for a new world in which nothing is like home, it is about another kind of migration altogether, which takes a family from everyday reality into a dark, secret place where grief has enclosed them.

"My father has a glum nature," the book begins. "He's been retired for a few years, and he doesn't speak much. He can spend whole days without saying anything to my mother. If he is left to himself, though, he begins brooding." So we are alerted from the start that Sharma is effecting a translation, of sorts – from a wide and complex psychology into simple, accessible description – turning his novel about loneliness and despair into one that may even nearly make us laugh. "Recently," that opening paragraph continues, "he told me that I had always been selfish, that when I was a baby, I would start to cry as soon as he turned on the TV … When he said this, I began tickling him … 'Who's the sad baby?' I said. 'Who's the baby that cries all the time?'"

Written from the point of view of Ajay, arriving in New York after a childhood spent in Delhi, and learning to grow up as an American boy in Queens – "We even discussed what part of a dog a hot dog must be made of ", and so on – there is a clear trajectory, as with so many other stories of emigration, from the strange to the familiar, where the customs of old must make way for new manners. "I had never seen hot water coming from a tap before. In India, during winter, my mother used to get up early to heat pots of water on the stove so we could bathe … During the coming days, the wealth of America kept astonishing me. The television had programming from morning till night. In our shiny brass mailbox in the lobby, we received ads on coloured paper. The sliding glass doors of our apartment building would open when we approached."

This somewhat familiar narrative pattern is broken open, though, when Ajay's elder brother Birju, destined for great things, hits his head on the side of a swimming pool and is permanently brain damaged. Ajay, then, is expected to grow up and achieve greatness in his stead. His guilt at being the surviving brother, massive and undeclared, is the emotional and literary centre of Sharma's project, and charges his novel with an awful particularity that lifts it beyond other novels about making a home in the west. Yet the enormity of the subject seems barely registered. Instead of getting anything of Ajay's experience that might read as personal and troubled, we have this flattened-out version of his feelings that, though it may hint at emotion, shows none of it. All is closed down:

"A year had gone by since Birju's accident. My father began shaving him. The first time he did this was one afternoon. My mother and I stood and watched as he put shaving cream on Birju's cheeks … Birju lay there calmly as my father lathered him. I thought of how Birju had wanted to be a doctor. It seemed unfair that something like this could happen and the world go on."

The unspoken story is the telling one, of course, and reaches its troubling climax on the very last pages of the novel. As the family become more and more Americanised, as Ajay fulfils his brother's promise – growing up instead of him to achieve the grades that will get him the job that will take him all over the world to send the kind of money home to his parents they can't begin to spend – so, more and more, we come to see how complete is his own destruction. Sharma's story is a deeply American one in the way it takes a poor boy and makes him rich, valourising the wonders of the material world and giving his hero's life a fairytale gloss: "Once I got into Princeton, people phoned and asked my mother to bring me to their homes so their children could see me." "After I graduated, I became an investment banker"; "In my first year as vice president, I made seven hundred thousand dollars." But it is American, too, in showing so clearly the cracks that underlie that same story, as Ajay's father falls deeper and deeper into alcoholism and TV, and his mother retreats into silence behind a suburban facade.

My Take On This Book

I put myself in little Ajay's shoes when he first came to America. It must be tough. Even being in a new kid in a new school in your homeland is tough. Have experienced it myself a few times in my primary school years. Children can be cruel and teachers are not that helpful with a newcomer. In a foreign land the challenges can multiply four or five times, I believe. It is hard on Ajay. Before his brother's accident he is probably much happier as the burden of expectation does not fall on his shoulder yet. I think, if you are in foreign land, especially in America, as a foreigner, you are expected to do well, you are expected to prove yourself against all odds. Isn't that what the American dream is all about?
After Birju's accident, many things happen to the family. It culminated in the father falling deeper and deeper into alcoholism and the mother being shunned by the local Indian community. Ajay at times resorted to daydreaming, speaking with God, in order to release stress of the whole situation. Ajay in the end is successful. But at what price?